Prepare to be SHOCKED

(image from VH1)

"APPARENTLY," Tila Tequila (aka my cousin's double) and [my darling] Ray J is DATING.... 

What the fuck happened with Cocktail, RAY??? The one that WON your dating series? I need an official statement from you STAT!

I'm not sure what my complete reaction is. I guess good for them? Anyways, this is what she wrote on her official blog (and then she deleted it I guess because I couldn't find it anywhere, via Hollywood Tuna)

"My baby is Ray J…..and no man has made me feel so loved and so happy in such a long time. We really do love each other and I am so happy to have FINALLY met someone who treats me with respect and love. He is so sweet to me and makes me melt everytime I see him…….I love my baby……so there you have it! Tila Tequila is officially dating Ray J!!!!!! I think we make the cutest couple….dont you????? And this video that I posted earlier tonight was for him so he would hurry up and come over to see his wifey:"

then she made a striptease video for him, here's her statement:

"Here is a sexy video I made for my baby! HURRY HOME TO MAMA I MISSS YOU SOOOOO MUCH!!!!! Do you guys think this video will work once he see's it??? If I made this for you and I was your girlfriend, would you come over and see me????? haha! GRRRRRRR! I love u baby!"

A sex tape between these two whores needs to happen STAT! (if its true that they are dating). Or even better, a REALITY SHOW TOGETHER! Oh.My.God. REALITY TELEVISION HEAVEN! Please dear Universe, let this relationship be real. 

Tila Tequila Looks Like My Cousin

Actually, Tila looks more like this usually...

I just saw this WONDERFUL music video by the shameless fame whore known as Tila Tequila. Then it reminded me that I have a cousin that looks like her! No, you may not have her number unless you send me a picture with your freaking resume, which also states your annual financial earnings (I'm serious, its her requirements). When she's in L.A. people go up to her and ask her if she's Tila Tequila (AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!) I guess she's just going to be labeled as a whore forever now (at least in US of A), if she's reading this, DON'T FIGHT IT! JUST EMBRACE IN THE SKANKINESS! (You know you want too)

How is this TV related you ask? Then you have clearly missed that eye-rape of a show called "A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila" on MTV. Now she had found her "true" love (daughter of Yahoo CEO) and decided to stop with the reality show to respect her relationship with her girlfriend (aka full time gold-digger now). But I think they broke up. 

I hope somebody gives her another contract for something, as I sometimes do miss my family members... 

She's also an aspiring singer: "STRIPPER FRIENDS"