ONE

HELLO sexy READERS! Now that I've caught your immediate attention, let me tell you that TODAY IS MY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY FOR THIS BLOG! I have been in the mood of reflection and deep thoughts (joke. I'm not capable). But seriously, even with the miniscule amount of people reading this blog, I am still grateful that anyone reads it at all. So THANK YOU! THANK YOU, EVERYONE!


I only write because I love doing so. Watching shows does give me tons of inspirations to write, and because of that I have tremendous amount of fun doing it. The entertainment provided in these posts for the last year has hopefully fill your hearts with joy and your voice with laughter... I can't continue with this preachy shit.


Now its time to get DRUNK! 200++ POSTS PER YEAR! NOT TOO FUCKING SHABBY FOR SOMEONE WHO HAS A PROBLEM WRITING ESSAYS FOR ALL TIMES! This whole week, I will be "partying" it up in my apartment, meaning I will be finishing my liquor cabinet. All of you are INVITED to join in the celebration (email me)! I'm sorry that it couldn't be any grander, but if I could fictionally celebrate it at one place, it would be in Grand Prospect Hall. The place is just too regal for words.





XXX,
One Judgmental Person


*Boobs belongs to Candice. Thank you, they are very nice. And I know the ink takes DAYS to go off.

Cuff LINKS

• David Wailliams of "Little Britain" is ENGAGED to model Lara Stone - Daily Mail

• Another bitch move from NBC, David Tennant's "Rex is Not Your Lawyer" has been overlooked - TV Squad

• Gossip Girl needs to DIE - E! Online WWK

• The Price is INTENSE (at 1:15 mark)

Hope For Haiti

Whether you like it or not. You will be watching it, because HOPE FOR HAITI has bombarded every channel you can imagine. Watch it for the celebrities or because you actually care, its none of my business. But if you feel like you want to make a monetary difference, CLICK HERE to donate.

Oh My Shit

There has been plans for NY state to jack up the price of cigarette by $1 more in 2011. WHAT THE BAGINA? ARE YOU INSANE NEW YORK?? The price is already $10-11 to begin with now, and you want to charge even more? Upon hearing this news, thousands of wallets in NY needed to be resuscitated by mouth-to-mouth smoke, as they all went into immediate withdrawal. Please, they can't take the abuse anymore.

I mean, if I did understood this article correctly, it implies that NY owes a $7.4 billion due to a thing called the fiscal gap. I don't necessarily understand what a "fiscal gap" is, but fuck, that's a shitload of money. So, they are going to tax all the smokers and hopefully that'll close down the gap by $1 billion less. GREAT...


To all smokers in NY, here are some solutions for YOU:

1. QUIT BITCHES!
2. Ok, that's too hard. So go to New Jersey and you can get it for as low as $4.50! JERSEY SHORE RULES! And while you're there, you can also get a muscley-tan-spiky hair guido. 2 FOR THE PRICE OF 1!
3. No? Get it in Duty Free at any of the airport.
4. Not traveling? Then ummm, suck it up and buy it at your local deli.
5. (ALL of these messages have not been approved by the surgeon general).
6. OH! Isn't there like illegal cigarette dealers? Or is that just things I see on the TV that's not actually real?

On a side note, they're also going to increase the price of sugary drinks by 1 cent per ounce.

Talk About AWKWARD

(photo from another previous episode)

We were just watching last night's episode of Jay Leno because Chelsea Handler was on to promote her new book. This blog has been proclaimed to be a CHELSEA HANDLER FAN!

I don't know what kind of weird, perverted, sexual tension was going on, but it was inappropriately awkward. There's a motel scene, with a vibrating bed, and both of them lying in it together. Maybe its a joke, but Mr. Leno here needs to keep his hand up in the air where everybody can see it.



Jay, don't even bother because Chelsea is WAY OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE!

Sorry for international readers, I can't seem to find the clip anywhere else besides Hulu. And I know how Hulu is a bitch to anybody living outside the U.S.A. But here's the first part of the interview if you are interested in watching:

SUITS!

Just catching up on a month's worth of DVR... It took me all night long. I've always had "How I Met Your Mother" on the things that's scheduled on the machine. Its not my favorite, but if there's nothing else to watch and I'm on the brink of boredom, I will succumb to mediocre comedy.

Neil Patrick Harris is hard to resist, especially as Barney. Why am I writing about this? Because I think I just drank a liter of glitter-potion from a friend. "Water" she told me... look at me today, I've Gone completely MUSICAL-berserk. I've been listening to Xanadu the whole day and is considering going for a Glee marathon. Not a joke. Anyways, there's this musical bit on HYIMYM and its been stuck in my head for half a day. Its not bad. From the 100th episode: Girls vs. Suits



I hope those rumors about him heading towards Glee is true. I would love to see him in Glee, he would be a better choice than J.Lo and Justin Timberlake COMBINED. Don't even get me started on J.Lo and her Louboutin crap. That's another story for another day.

Quote of The Day

"I felt that sometimes, when you come out to the audience, there's like people going 'Boooo,' but they could've been going 'Wooooo..."- John or Edward

Bless their hearts. Really, even after all those unfavorable things I've said about them. They do really deserve a medal for being so positive. A chocolate medal. At the 2:00 mark.

Johnny, Be A Flying Unicorn

Johnny Weir, fabulous-"Poker Face"-figure skater, will be having his own reality show.

Oh HELL YES! And just in time for the Winter Olympics

If you ever need a dose of Gaga-GLITTER-EXTRAVAGANZA to cure yourself from a day of utter dreariness, this is going to be perfect.

via Gawker

ARCHER STERLING

There's a new show on FX that has managed to garner about 1.8 million viewers on the premiere night. Curious?

I was.

Let me just tell you, I saw it and LOVES IT! It is straight out hilarious with both elements of mainstream and adult swim comedy.

The new show is called Archer, and its an animated comedy set in a spy agency called International Secret Intelligence Service (ISIS). The main character is Archer Sterling aka "The Duchess," and his mom is the boss of the organization. Basically, its a spy parody. The pilot is so unbelievably strong, that it became my *ULTRA* current favorite. If anyone asks me what show they should watch, I would recommend Archer. Praising/Giving compliments is not really one of my strong skills, so I'm sorry if this is not convincing you enough as I am trying REAL HARD.

How can I describe Archer Sterling as a character? He is a misogynistic, insensitive, rude, complicated pervert who also a giant man-whore. However, as he is spy, therefore it comes with the package. If this personality and behavior reminds you of yourself, then you should watch it.

Click here to watch on Megavideo.

"Just the tip?"

If you don't want to read that mumbo-jumbo up there here's the VERDICT in 5 words:

Its Brilliant, Watch.It.Now!

PSYCHING OUT: Family Edition

So, as some of you may know, I am currently still in Jakarta since I got sick. I will be making my journey back to New York City soon enough though (don't worry my dearest two "fans," you'll be able to stalk me again with the binos).

Anyways, not the point. So, here's a little of Indonesian "news" for you that's been passed around everywhere. A son of a cardiologist just recently passed away, his death was a shock to many as he was still young for his age. Right at the moment the news broke, many MANY people asked about how he passed. A lot speculated that it could've been a suicide since the family decided to cremate the body ASAP. There weren't really any explanations given out about the cause of death, so rumors went WILD.

How wild? There's circulating rumors that he might have died in a masturbation choking session...

Imagine my mother and aunt trying to explain THAT to my GRANDMOTHER. "Its like when they play with the bird... and they choke a bit... extending the sensation of pleasure..." NOOOOOOOOOOO MY EARS HAVE OFFICIALLY BLED TO DEATH! WHY?? IN FRONT OF ME?

My Aunt: "Ew, why would people do that?! Is that some kind of psychological dysfunction? Did you learn that in psychology? Anything about sexual deviants?"

Me: No, no, no, no, no, no, no (shaking my head continuously trying to stop the topic from evolving).

Aunt: Oh, I heard a lot of these husbands now are asking for their wives to participate in BDSM.

Me: (Ok ZONING OUT right about NOW)

Background chatter: If I ever had to choose, I will be the one who is the sadist... blablablablabla WHIP THE SHIT OUT OF MY HUSBAND blablablabla...

Yes, I learned about this in psychology, but I wasn't actually prepared to discuss it with the family. As for the rumor, I don't think its true. Imaginations can go wild, that is all I have to say.

RIP whoever you are.

Jack Bauer in a Dress

I love Jack Bauer, I love Kiefer Sutherland even more. That low, rugged, sexy voice... Oh I feel like he's always ready to rip my shirt and then... SWOOOOOOOOOOON.

Must-resist-the-fantasy-and-continue-writing...The eight season of 24 is going to start soon (EIGHT? Where have I been?), this is why I think he's doing some kind of late-night promo on David Letterman. Apparently he lost a bet, and because of that... THIS HAPPENED:



I hope there's a ninth season of 24 or some other Kiefer Sutherland project, so he can lose another bet and hopefully wear this into an interview:

Hey, the dress is just the gateway drug into cross-dressing. Kiefer, you would look FIERCE! Imagine in 24 and Jack Bauer is doing some undercover work in a tranny show. Who in the world wouldn't wanna see that?
Bank of America on the other hand, would not approve.

A Chain of Steel Links

Dexter has cancer - Boston Herald

Simon Cowell leaves American Idol - E! Online

Elton John might replace him... or not - OK Magazine

Bachelor contestant Rozlyn Papa was the contestant ho - NY Daily News

NBC's post-Leno schedule - TV Addict

Somebody suggested that I should start doing outgoing links, and this time I actually took the suggestion (6 months later). Hope you all can become more rounded in TV knowledge as you come and visit this site. Knowledge is power, remember that kids! 

Doctor What?

After much anticipation and searching through many false links, I finally found The End of Time part II!

Yeah... to be honest, I didn't really understand what was happening and was just confused till the last 15 minutes of the show; in which the Doctor regenerated. Gallafrey? Who? What? How? Apparently, I'm not as big of a Doctor Who fan as I thought I was. 1o9 has a great in depth review on what exactly happened on the last episode, click this whole sentence to read all of your questions being answered.


I'm just sad that David Tennant is not there anymore. Boo. The end of the episode was a bit anti-climatic, so to speak.
I will give the new Doctor a chance as I am easy to be swayed. But he has some gigantic shoes to fill in (wink wink).
Here's a preview of the new upcoming season with the 11th Doctor.

The Conan Debacle

The time has finally came where I voiced out my opinion about this whole Late Night Talkshow debacle:

CRAIG FERGUSON FOR THE WIN! 

Sorry, that was insensitive, but seriously Conan, just go fuck NBC back in their ass again. Stay put at YOUR 11:35 time slot and let NBC sweat a lot of PR money trying to remedy this fuck-up that they started. When someone does a bitch move like that, you gotta keep you pimp hand STRONG CONAN! 

And for those that hasn't started watching late night shows, I already put my recommendations everywhere. 

UPDATE: Conan has been given the shaft. Jay Leno gets his beloved 11:35-12:35 slot again. Life is not fair, so good luck in suing NBC! You deserve better than this. 

This is Where the Magic HAPPENS

For all those men that needs an extra lesson in picking up women, throw "The Game" away, and watch this video below. Seriously, I'm already swooning so hard for all these magicians.



"You'll find when you have a little magic, flirting comes easy." Where can I find this book?

Baking

I stumbled on a reality show called "Vanity Lair," its something about beautiful people trying to find the true meaning of beauty... or something like that. Click here to read the full Wikipedia description, its pointless for me to describe it as I think I already made myself clear in the first sentence.

I don't know who Tony Le Britton is. But what I do know is that he dubbed himself as the "vainest man in Britain." What caught my interest to this particular model/reality show contestant?
THIS:

If you are wondering how to get an even tan, instead of laying your towel down, replace it with aluminum foil and just be ready to act like a baked potato.
The best part about Tony? His reaction when he found out that he is the "scientifically the least attractive" person in the group.

My cousin said that the puking was probably just a reason for him to be bulimic. Oh dear cousin, don't be SO MEAN. I mean he's obviously showing symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (SARCASM). My new name for him is Potato Tony. Fat cat potato Tony... I feel better now. Tony, if you are reading this, please don't vomit all over your keyboards. Please.

Pseudo Haters

First of all, I would like to thank one of my contributors, scaramouche, for typing up another post on this blog. For those who don't know, this blog has three EXTRA contributors besides myself. I was kinda expecting them to be more active since they're all TV enthusiast. As a punishment, I realize the I should never expect anything from anyone. HAHAHA.


However, out of all my contributors, scaramouche has posted the most this year! So if you are new to this blog and are reading some of the posts, when it says that "I watched this show from WORK," it means that its not me writing since I'm "unemployed."So don't get it twisted sister!


ANYWAYS, last night, I went to a barberque party and someone asked me what I did... since now I have graduated and shit. So, instead of saying that I'm just chilling around, I told her that I am a blogger (to feel more productive). She was like "that's even worst than doing nothing!"


I guess I had my first taste of a hater. Even though I am not TOTALLY disagreeing with her point of view, it still hurts for someone to say that what you've been doing for almost a year has been "useless."
So if she's reading this right now: I would like to present you to Katt Williams' ideology.

Would you like me to do weed or write on this blog? Because maybe I wouldn't mind doing both. And if you feel like you need some chillaxing time in your life. GIVE ME A HOLLA!

(I've Had) The Time of My Life

Remember that part in Dirty Dancing-- you know, the iconic bit at the end when they dance and Johnny lifts Baby hiiiiiigh up into the air and they break all social/physical/emotional/theoretical boundaries...etc..etc...

Well, prepare to have that precious moment of 80's pop culture ruined forever.

In a special flash forward episode of quite possibly the WORST soap opera ever, Hollyoaks, which I had to watch at work (yes, you read that right- it is indeed part of my job,) Calvin and Carmel finally get married. But wait, there's a slight complication.

(see below- fast forward to 1:43 and watch till the end if you're a glutton for punishment. if you're not, just skip forward to 4:22)




???????????????????

and ?????

his facial expressions: "whaaaat? i've been shot? but i was just about to ...doo..a lift...time.of..my..life...can't...act..."


now that I've gotten that out of the way, here is a special tribute to our fearless judgmental leader:



(i miss you judgy one come back soon please!)

Oh Look, Another Season of The Bachelor. YAWN.

There's a new "scandal" from a boring-ass show that is "The Bachelor," that will probably make America tune in only for one millisecond. Yes, the original reality dating show (that has spun so much remakes on VH1) is now imbued with some "unfortunate decisions" where a contestant supposedly had a fling with one of the show's producers.

GOOD FOR YOU GIRLFRIEND!

Finally some fame-whore decided to be smart enough and maybe get some spare dick to relieve her needs while everyone else is AIMING FOR THE WRONG THING! You go on this show hopefully to become the Ryan and Trista of the new decade, but since our society has degraded so much THIS IS BY FAR MORE INTERESTING than the show itself.

My prediction for the course of the show that "The Bachelor" himself will be all sappy and woppy saying stupid shit like:

"I don't know if I can trust anyone again after what she did to me. I really thought that she was here for me, that she was The One. I hope you can understand how hard it is for me to even open up to you (sobs). I do like you, but its going to be hard for me to trust you."

I bet you he's gonna get so much more ass from this line.

So, will I watch it? Yes, probably for a couple of episodes because I know ABC is gonna milk this stuff and its gonna be gooooood. Fake drama is better than no drama (that should be all TV show's motto). This is rating's equivalent to GOLD! I do have to give them props though, the show's "dramatic quality" has improved starting since last year. Example: Exhibit A

2010

Happy New Year all of you readers! I would like to take a moment to thank everyone who has read this blog throughout the year! Thank you! Thank you SO MUCH! 

This blog isn't the créme de la créme of TV blogs... I'm not sure if you can even call this a TV blog to be precise... but WHATEVER (not the point). Besides the lack of consistency, relevancy, or even punctuality of my writing... I still thank those who has taken 2 minutes out of their day to read my "works."

Thank you very much kind readers for all the support. Karma will remember this simple kind act and hopefully repay you back somehow. Regular postings will resume after my food coma celebrations has subsided.