Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Job Experiment: SoHo Apartment

Hey, you lovely bitches!
Its your Real Estate P-I-M-P, Debra!

What do I have for you on the rental platter today? A GORGEOUS 1BR UNIT IN THE HEART OF SOHO!

*look how shiny the floor is*

*i know its cut out of the photo, but there's tons of counterspace!*

*sorry, bag in the bathroom is cock-blocking this photo from being perfection*

*every room has its own windows and closet*

Seriously, I have to say that this is one of the more "normal" sized apartment in SoHo I've seen. Not only that, its an ELEVATOR BUILDING with laundry on the premises!

Its $3150 a month and JUST CAME IN THE MARKET TODAY (Jan 19 2011)!
Where is it located you ask? All I can give you as of now its somewhere on Thompson St and Spring St!


I don't know if any of you that's reading my blog is actually interested in renting an apartment in the greatest city in the WOARLD: NEW YORK CITAY! But, if you know somebody, please forward them this link!

I was told by my boss to start blogging about real estate, so now I'm going to shamelessly promote it on my blog... until I get bored... Of course...

Peace out: LINK TO LISTING ---> CLICK HERE

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Enrique Iglesias Can Fuck Anybody He Wants too



NSFW.

My friend is not very fond of Enrique for because he poses with a pout:

*actual picture sent from my friend* but what a poser

She said: He really needs to stop looking like that...
Me: But with one look from Enrique, all you wanna do is fuck him

Seriously borderline porno music video. I bet you after all the years he's been releasing music videos, he can finally be blunt and not sing about love or shit or being someone's hero.
Now, he can be like "You! ... Let's fuck!" and a music video is born.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Cats Morphing into Croissants



When crazy cat ladies have nothing better to do... They will think everything looks like a cat...

Is it Delusion of Grandeur or Delusion of TRUTH? ..... I really need to eat now......

Next time when I see an orange-colored cat, all I'm gonna be thinking is off CROISSANTS!

Louis Vuitton Tattoos


OH. MY. ZEUS. 


WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO YOUR OWN BODY?!?! 

This is why I'm afraid to have kids, because they grow up and potentially do stupid shit like this.

And you know what the worst part is? 
... I bet you that he thinks he's "cool" and all his friends are like "yeah buddy, awesome tattoo!" 

First of all: FUCKING DUMP YO DUMBASS FRIENDS! 

I mean WHAT WAS THE THINKING PROCESS FOR GETTING THIS TATTOO?
  • Maybe he wanted a gangsta arm sleeve, but he thought those dragon looking tattoos look so mean! 
  • Or maybe he wanted an LV bag, but couldn't afford it... Making him look like a chinatown knockoff...
  • Can Louis Vuitton sue him for copyright infringement?

Ok ran out of comments.... BUT! I GOOGLED IT AND THEN I FOUND THIS:


CAN THIS BE CONSIDERED ANIMAL CRUELTY??? 
Apparently, this was considered as "ART" and their skins will be worth a lot of money once the pigs have passed away. 

I have no point in this post, except if it actually inspire one of you to get this tattoo. 
All I ask is: 
PLEASE DON'T! 

Friday, January 7, 2011

SNOWBERNATION PART DEUX



I don't have a part one, but this is the second time that its snowing in NY and EVERYONE IS FREAKING OUT!!!!

ARE THE SANITATION DEPARTMENT PREPARED THIS TIME??? (I think so)
WILL THE SUBWAYS BE WORKING??? (Yes, MTA better be prepared)
WHAT KIND OF SNOW IS THIS?! (Wet snow, which means it'll melt when it touches you [saucy])
WHEN WILL IT END???!?!?!?! (This afternoon around 3-4pm)

Again, I'm not going to work again today (SNOWBERNATION MANIA!) ... Don't judge please...



Instead let's do a recap on yesterday's SEASON 3 PREMIERE OF JERSEY SHORE!!!
FIST PUMP PARTY! 

There's a new cast member called Deena, she's Snooki's "BFF"
Sammi doesn't like any of the girls ("whorebags")
Sammi and Ronny are STILL together (yawn), it must be true love
Lots of drinking ensued
Deena got naked in front of the Situation 'accidentally'
For once the Situation held his dick and didn't bone anything
Deena wanted to "have fun" with the Situation, but he's not up for it
Sammi laughed at her for being "stupid" 
Deena called Sammy a c***
Ronnie went into ROID-RAGE
Sammi started yelling at Deena
Snooki started yelling at everyone
Jwoww got pissed off
Sammi is still pissed off at Jwoww: which ensued to...


BITCH FIGHT! PUNCH IN DA FACE!
BITCH FIGHT! YANK HAIR OFF DA SCALP!
BITCH FIGHT! ON DA FLOOR!

Then: EPISODE WILL CONTINUE NEXT WEEK
BOOOOOOO! But so far, so good!
Watch it all on www.mtv.com
Recap over and I'm OUT!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Happy Belated New Year! Please, Hand Me Some More Champagne... PLEASE

Hello there readers!


Let's finish our formalities, and say HAPPY NEW YEAR! If you want to give me something to begin your year with generosity and gratuity, then you can give me a bottle of wine/champagne so I can continue my alcoholic consumption through February... YAY! MORE PRESENTS FOR ME!

I have been very LAZY lately. Yes, that is the only reason why I haven't been updating this blog... Not because I'm super busy in my Real Estate job (even though it is quite stressful), not because I have an awesome social life in which I "party and get fucked up" every night and can't write because I'm too hungover... (I WISH!)

For serious, I'm currently writing from a Korean Spa in New Jersey...


LAZINESS WILL BE THE PLIGHT OF MY DOOM!!!


ANYWAYS! The reason I'm back is because I got a request from (who/m? shall be) an anonymous reader:

So freakin bored and your blog works on my work. Dude...write more!
Anyway, I got into WoW *[World of Warcraft]*(I'm super serious...fucking sad.) so now I'm appreciating the South Park episode on WoW so much more. Did you know I got a wrist injury from playing? How sad am I?

That is really sad, "anonymous" reader... However, carpal tunnel syndrome is not a laughing matter (but we should all laugh anyways) AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Its ok though, I'm currently really into my 'Smurf Village' on my iPad. Actually, I've been really into my iPad lately... I spent 96 hours straight on 'Plants vs Zombies' (Best Game EVER!) and COMPLETED THAT SHIT!

yeah, you bet I'm proud of myself

If only I apply the same kind of enthusiasm to my Real Estate job... You can be sure I'll be making deals after deals and be partying every night and making it FUCKING RAIN IN DA CLUBZ!

....................... If not then I'll just make it rain on my friend's cat and turn it into a wonderful fat-cat bankers calendar series............. Both are equally good of an option for this year's resolution. AGAIN, I HAVE CAME UPON A WIN-WIN SITUATION!

2011 will be an awesome year for me!

Ok time to get back to my sauna napping time. Ciao darlings.