Depression is Not Funny...?

So... as we are all unaware of, STARZ has been trying to jump into the"premium cable tv production" boat like the rest of its peers. I do have to tell Starz, that the key word here is PREMIUM, because so far everything just looked like something you can get out of Spike TV or the Oxygen channel.

The only reason I am watching "Gravity" is because of billboards brainwash every time I journey into Chelsea (another reason why I detest that area). Have you TRIED watching this "new original series?"

Uhh......

Its suppose to be a dark comedy/dramedy, but I think from the first episode it has failed to do either. The show's is centered on a support group for people that have failed to commit suicide. See, it does sound interesting right? RIGHT?

EEEEEEEK (sound of Taboo buzz)! WRONG BITCHES! Its confusing and as a lot of other reviewers have said, its because they can't seem to find a tone for the show.

Also, I personally think these people aren't depressed enough to display what actual depression is like. Its like these people never heard the term of "suicide watch," because miraculously after two days from physical recovery, they bounce back to their normal selves... I just hope to dear universe that Starz won't become the CW version of premium channels. Because by this point you should know how I feel about CWfreaking11.

Under-Appreciated Stylish Male Characters - The Classics

In the previous edition I featured a few gentlemen TV characters of the last 20 years whose style I could abide by. Here's a look at some from a slightly older time who deserve special mention. They're not necessarily immaculate, but like I said, they deserve more credit than they get.

Alex P Keaton



Family Ties in my opinion was never really that entertaining. It did however introduce audiences to the awesomeness that is Michael J Fox and his character Alex P Keaton, one of the most conservative characters to grace mainstream American TV. Maybe it's because Fox is such a likable actor, but Alex P Keaton, for all his Reagan-esque, ueber-Republican, Milton Friedman loving, stereotypically 80s prep overkill, pulls off the look. Probably because of all the aforementioned qualities. Plus, he dresses better than Steven Keaton. Not that that is hard to do.

The Prisoner/Number Six



It's no fun to dress well when you're imprisoned in a village because your borderline Orwellian government is trying to figure out why you quit your job as a secret agent. The Prisoner was a huge mindfuck to say the least. But at least Patrick McGoohan's Number Six came out looking pretty natty always dressed in dark colors. Cool piping on the jacket too.

Alex Scott and Kelly Robinson



This is what good 1960s tailoring does for you before it's ruined by bell bottom jeans, tie dye and lame headbands. Alex Scott, as played by Bill Cosby, is a multilingual Rhodes Scholar and is the perfect foil to his spy partner Kelly Robinson's (played by the late Robert Culp) more playboy ways. Who says fronting as tennis players is no fun?

Remington Steele



Was there any doubt that Pierce Brosnan couldn't look good in a suit? The Bogart loving con-man turned PI always turned out well, wearing well cut suits, and clean french cuff shirts. This experience gave him good practice for a more distinguished position a few years later. Plus, the best con-men always look their best, it's all part of the trick.

Under-Appreciated Stylish Male TV Characters

Everyone's justifiably waxed lyrical about how well dressed the men of Mad Men (well, except Harry Crane; no one should abide by short sleeved dress shirts under suits and clip on bow ties) and Barney Stinson are. While the aforementioned characters are all well dressed, I want to give a shout out to some male tv characters of the last 20 years who deserve more credit for their style.

Frasier and Niles Crane




















Other than Frasier's unfortunate long hair at the beginning of the series and Niles' occasional 3 button peak lapel suit, the two best Freudian and Jungian psychiatrists in TV history have always looked their sartorial best, with Frasier usually favoring odd jackets and Niles double breasted and 3 button suits. Even though these guys had their start in the 90s, they thankfully did not fall prey to the schlubbiness of most 90s male tv characters (i.e. Ross, Chandler and Joey, as funny as they are, look appalling), wearing clothes that actually fit them well and dressing their ages.

GOB Bluth



Him? Yes, seriously. Think about it vis a vis his attitude and lifestyle. His loose linen suits, refusal to wear a tie, paisley shirts and general lack of regard for any shoe but sandals and espradilles express his "I don't give a fuck" attitude (though he obviously does care, why else would the stylists have put his character in those clothes?). He wears all of these items well. Gotta commend the guy on that. Well okay he does wear a tie once, in his father's progressively more expensive suit.

Jack Donaghy



This is how power should dress. He keeps it simple. Dark suit. Pale blue or white shirt. Dark tie. Dark shoes. He even takes a page out of JFK's book and purposely buttons his lower jacket button, which one should normally not do unless the jackets are custom, which Donaghy's obviously are. Plus he almost exclusively wears tuxes after six. What is he, a farmer?

Jeeves and Wooster



Reginald Jeeves and Bertie Wooster are Edwardian style at their best (okay the weight of their suit fabrics are not quite so accurate, but whatever). Wooster with his extravagant and fairly fashion forward ways (he dared to wear a straw hat in the metropolis, though his white mess jacket did make him look like a waiter), and Jeeves with his monochromatic valet attire trying to get Wooster to dress properly were always spot on.

Brother Mouzone



Don't let the bowtie and Harper's fool you. The trim dark suits, the bow tie, the precise manner of speaking, the diction. You wouldn't expect a man like that be a cold blooded killer, would you? Most of his victims don't.

Part 2 featuring more classic TV stars to follow later.

Ass Douche

Look at this guy. He thinks he's such a "cool dude"... I mean look at that pose! Look at that FACE! I fucking HATE IT! Yes, I'm going to be a hater for a bit right now, because seconds after seeing this photograph my brain gave me an intense "ASS DOUCHE" alert.  I'm sorry random model dude from a clothing website, you are categorically handsome, but this catalog gig is NOT for you. 

Ok let's give him another chance, maybe if he was wearing a slightly different color shirt?

NOPE! I literary want to throw rotten tomatoes at this shirt now.

*Thanks Priscilla

International Marijuana Day

Its 420. People, you know what to do.* I would recommend you things to watch today, but I know half of you are too baked to care right now. So, just turn your TV on and just watch anything that seems bearable to endure. Man, a CSI marathon would be perfect today...
*Share the love! Call me!

While you're at it, try KFC's new "Double Down" sandwich(?) and report back to me.

Drunk Man Trying to Put on Flip Flops

This is a reason why youtube is awesome. Instead of having hilarious moments like these fade away in people's memories, we get to witness them again and again.

Enjoy!

P.S. Everyone is claiming that the guy is "drunk" but seriously? Does being drunk really make you that disoriented?!

-Bubbles

Romantically Shit

LAUGHTRACKS? SERIOUSLY? GIVE ME A BREAK PEOPLE! I'm sorry, I was so outraged by it that I didn'tget to mention what I'm talking about. This is about that new show "Romantically Challenged," with Alyssa Milano (woohoo... she's back...I'm excited... why not...). 

What, do you ask, that this new comedy might be about? Four friends all having relationship problems...  This is basically a diluted version of 'Friends.' And after watching the first 5 minutes of it, I was going to hurl and pray to the TV gods that this will get cancelled soon. 

Yes, in case you don't want to read that many word. Romantically Challenged = SHIT

Yes, God help us all, seriously.

I was taking a break from Guest blogging but I couldn't stand it anymore when I saw this trailer for the new movie: Mega Piranha.
The trailer speaks for itself....

What The Fuck Google

I would like to apologize for my week of absence. The reason behind that is because Google Ads decided to disable my fucking account out of the blue and didn't bother to give me an explanation to WHY THEY DID THAT. It was personally an insulting experience as I had to file an "APPEAL" to them to and explain why my "readers are beneficial to Google Ads and their advertisers." 


REALLY? First of all, I would like to ask you, DEAR READERS, to tell me how you are beneficial to Google Ads? Maybe if the answer comes from the mouth of the public, then they'll believe me more. 


After NICELY appealing to them, Google specialist was "unable to reinstate my account" because of unknown reasons. Seriously, I "made" thirty hypothetical dollars in ONE YEAR! I probably could make more in a day being a homeless person on the streets of New York City. NO SHIT GUARANTEE! 


Ok, anger should be subsiding now. Don't you worry (my five fans out there), I'm still going to continue blogging. I will update some shit later on during the week, I'm going to start drinking early today. I've been on a marathon of "How To Make It In America," and I thought the opening credit song is appropriate for my situation now. I still do think the show is not HBO's best show ever (aka shit). But that might just be because I'm in a mood... Who the fuck cares. 





I need a dollar, dollar, dollar is what I need.

Forced Out of My Own Will

Sometimes, my peers demands a lot out of me.
One friend in particular likes to use this line on me (or on many of her other victims): "Go watch this now! Or else!"
Even though this was all in a Skype conversation, I had a feeling that she meant "business."

In her words, WATCH THIS NOW!


Yeah, I was like WHAT THE HELL? At this point, I know some of you reading this

disobeyed my friend's orders and therefore hasn't seen the video yet.

If you can guess what he's going to perform on, I will give you a GAZILLION DOLLARZ*.
*in your dreams

*Thanks Priscilla

Butter

Ty Burrell (awkward dad in 'Modern Family') is in final negotiations for a lead in an upcoming movie called "Butter." What can this film named after a delicious pale yellow fatty substance is about? Butter carving. If you could look at me in the eyes, I am seriously staring at you about how serious I am. Are you confused? Good. 

*pass me the butter... wait...

The plot follows "a butter-carving champ (Burrell) who’s forced to step down, leading his wife (Jennifer Garner) to begin training in hopes of becoming the new champ." I didn't even know there was such a thing as a butter-carving contest till the magical search engine known as Google found me some links.... Now I have an idea: 


Dear FANS, 
Next year for my birthday, instead of the originally planned ice sculpture of a pegasus you were planning to make for me, I would want a butter carving of one instead. That's all. Thank you. 


"Love,"
D.A. 

3D TV

Yeah, I kinda want one. More than an iPad. Even if I have to wear those hideous glasses at the comfort of my own home, the experience will be worth it! I'll just end up looking like a douche in a nightclub.

*not exactly a douche

You know what? Maybe all I need is a more comfortable couch. Or maybe, what I need to do is stop watching the goddamn CSI marathon on Spike TV (that shit is addictive) and plan on actually acquiring this wonderful device. I call it the "Break-into-BestBuy" plan. 

Doctor WHOoOoOooOoooo

That's right, the season is back with the eleventh Doctor, Matt Smith! Here he is above in action... "Sonic screwdriver blast off!" (that's what I would say if I ever had one)...
Being as depressed as anyone could possibly be about David Tennant's departure, this was definitely a refreshing start to the new era. This new guy might not be as cute, but he is charming and extremely energetic; at least enough for me to feel his persona through the screen. *Brownie points for the bow-tie wardrobe change. 

However, his new companion, Amy Pond (real name: Karen Gillan) is a HOTTIE! I've always have a thing for female redheads. There's just something so sexy about them, I just can't seem to exactly put my finger on it to what it is. Yes, there's definitely that minor sexual tension between the both of them, like all the previous Doctor-Companion relationships. But this one is an odd match, but a good one, like french fries and soft-serve ice cream. (Don't you dare give me a disgusted look).

*I am also busy on my telephone

Anyways, the newest episode is called "The Eleventh Hour," and please read a more legitimate review HERE if you've maxed out on your Megavideo and just cannot wait for the BBC-America premiere on April 17th.

Dramatic Contact Lenses

Why can't life be actually like this? And they call me drama queen, bitch please!

Easter Weekend

iPad MANIA has come down upon us!!! Let us all rejoice and run to the nearest Apple store and wait there for hours upon hours so our hands may touch one of those things in hope. However, did I make that holy pilgrimage today? Nope. Instead, I went to the nearest movie theater and watched a "movie" called 'Clash of the Titans.'

poster is cooler than actual movie

Let me just tell you that this possibly could be the WORST movie ever made about Greek mythology. Actually, its just plain shit as a movie in general. Friends have warned me that this was going to be a terrible movie experience, but I refuse to heed them and march along my own path of destruction. Its rated 31% by Rotten Tomatoes, but its not even that good. 

Am I being too harsh on Easter? Isn't today suppose to be the day of forgiveness or whatever? But I cannot forgive this movie for robbing me out of my $13 and 2 hours of my life with inaccurate depictions of Greek mythology. Even Zeus would smite on this. I'm done with my sermon of the day. Good Day and Happy Easter! 

POP SEMPEN!

ahhhh the models and bottles lifestyle; if i were to even imagine the slightest taste of what it would be like to earn huge amounts of money, spend it uncontrollably, buy multiple bottles in fancy clubs, pop it obnoxiously in front of my A-list friends - feeling that joy of success, it would probably be right about now. Never thought that i'd make it this far, but i did! woohooo! Easter is here, happy easter everyone! Congratulations to me, me, ME!

I'll leave you with this, goodbye blog! for now!



- INDONZ RULE THE WORLD -

April's Foolery

Even if this is not that funny, Steve Carell is just a wonderful person to watch.

And now: Let's see some positive things that the GOP has to say about Obama

Global Warming is solved because of Low-Emissions Unicorns powered by renewable Rainbow Energy!

The best prank today has to be:

I Love This Show!!!

OMG! LOL! IDK! Its like the best thing that ever happened to television, like when man created the air conditioner, but even better! Have you seen "High Society???" The show that follows some New York socialites, including Tinsley Mortimer (New York's most something socialite) and it basically documents their every move and decision about what they should do with their poor little rich lives. The star is definitely Tinsley herserlf (as she is the most famous one)... Should she still have to share her maid with her ex-husband? Should she hide her relationship from her mother? LIFE IS SOOOOO DIFFICULT! I'm literary stressed out for her. Champagne time!


I was actually surprised that anything in the CW could amount to anything even remotely entertaining. After watching an episode of this, the bigger surprise is finding her mom as the biggest famewhore of all. 
And if you believe me at this point, you are the biggest dumbass in the world. Happy April Fool's day!
Don't watch it. For your sake. Seriously.