Wednesday, June 17, 2009

DRUNKZ BLOGGING: Your Favorite team returns for the REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NJ!!!!!!!!


HEAR YE! HEAR YE! BLOG READERS OF THE MIGHTY D:

drunks blogging is back, and I, Tatiana, will be blogging in red! First of all, I want to defend myself by saying I NEVER watch BRAVO! I barely even watched TV when I was in college. I would just submit to D's VH1 enforcements (her word is feared.... she's an aries... trust me, she's in charge). But now I've graduated, and I'm unemployed, and I went to Jersey last weekend and I was INCREDIBLY amused by the local Garden State residents. I needed some follow-up for my encounter with these kids. Then, I twisted my foot and I got house-locked, which got me even more engrossed in the show. Since I started watching the show, I loved Jaqueline. She's sweet and she's the most beautiful one on the show. She's not fake and she doesn't talk with that HORRENDOUS jersey accent. She wasn't as entertaining as Danielle or Dina or Caroline (can I just say that that "thick as thieves" was played multiple times on D's TiVo... oh, entertainment this century!) Still, this show is different, over time I have developed a little something for each person on the show:
-Danielle: Personally, I hate her character. I wouldn't be friends with her in a million years. She's an attention whore. Plain and SiMPLE. However, I have sympathy for the poor skank. Everyone's turned on her (Except for the kind hearted Jackie –man, I <3>
- Caroline: This chick has power! I mean, this episode went down, and she was like Solomon (administering speech time and defense space).
-Dina: She has a good head on her shoulder. she has good education principles for her daughter...until she decided to quit her job. I'm sorry, but that's where you lost me sweety. I don't think you should quit working, you save too much time for gossip as it is. YOU SHOULD CUT INTO YOUR "GF GOSSIP TIME" NOT INTO YOUR WORK TIME. Work is what gives people a reason to get up in the morning. (In fact it was proven that people with jobs live longer)
Euhm... Teresa, I have nothing good to say about her. I never liked airheads. She's raising the next generation's Paris Hilton. Period. I'm pretty sure her daughter's going to be a whore next year. Yeah, she's 10, but her path is on an express track to slutsville. She's slap-worthy!

The only thing that bothers me about Jaqueline is her ungrateful daugther ASHLEY. I don't hate anyone on the show as much as I do her. She ABUSES her mother's kindeness. She needs a good spanking and a military boot camp retreat. Oh and did I mention she needs SPANKING!?!?!?!??! She doesn't deserve a car. My own sister had to be in the top 3% of her class before she even got a Volkswagon. Seriously, what is Ashley... ok ok, I have to leave room for the much celebrated blogger herself now before I produce more material for the Jaqueline FAN CLUB and the Ashley HATE CLUB (PS: I think Jackie's husband is also THA BOMB!)

Whatever, she totally like added Jacqueline on facebook, let's hope that they'll become BFFs (heartz)! I have no more to say as I'm pretty sure Tatiana has gone through a comprehensive recap of this season finale and she has done a pretty damn good job too! Ok, too drunk and tired for this, I'll update more later tomorrow morning. BLURGH. 

1 comment:

  1. yaaah go jah-sey rah rah woot woot

    -Dens-

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