a wii game that can get you laid

ATTENTION NERDS! There is a Wii game that may get you lucky if you want to impress (?) your significant other. A new unique game called "We Dare" is all about making your boring-ass dinner parties more sexy and flirtatious. 

To play the game, players will have to interact by kissing, stripping, or get on that ass-spanking action. This is the only (fun way) to finish all those 40 mini-games included in the game.   

I swear to jeebus, this shit is real:

I have a Wii, and I don't know if I want people to lick on my remote and stick it up their butts. (unless if its a special occasion [aka NEVER]).... Seriously though, THINK OF THE GERMS! 

But if it was given to me as a present, I'm not gonna turn it down (wink wink). 

Sowwy

A belated apology to my dear friend Tatiana...

As I was browsing through the comments on my blog (one of the way that I justify my existence and enlarge my ego at the same time), she mentioned to me that I have forgotten to promote her blog!

I have promoted her blog work before, but not her actual blog!


To summarize shortly, her blog is about her life in Berlin (which is an awesome city). It includes sex, drugs, and techno music galore. Well, overall, she is an awesome person, probably the most "hard-core" person I've ever personally known.
She is also a proud owner of a Canon G11! C'mon, that reason alone is a valid one to visit her blog!


CLICK HERE TO VISIT THE REALM OF EXCESS!

REALM OF EXCESS IS AWESOME!
TATIANA IS SUUUUPER COOL! -UH, HELLO... I MENTIONED THE CAMERA RIGHT?-
SHE IS BECOMING AN ORGANIC HERBAL WEIRDO! -JOOOOKE-
BUT HER BLOG IS STILL INTERESTING!
BECAUSE HERBAL DOES NOT EQUAL BORING!

I order you to visit it.

Justin Bieber Killed in CSI

I tried researching what exactly is the plot line of this episode, however I still didn't get the gist of it.

If I'm not mistaken, Justin plays a troubled teenager and does something with bombs.

Now, he's finally caught and he's shot... like a bazillion times.


Let's see what the commenters have to say:


"Why did they shoot the van? It didn't do anything wrong..." - djChives95


"Justin Bieber does not know how to shoot a gun. In RL, he would have just sat there and crapped his pants whilst crying and asking for his body gaurds plz" - Basiledes

"91 people thought of suicide before realizing this is a CSI scene" - cassyusbomber

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ." - vampiricgirl15

"This was such a smart move for CSI. The Bieber fans will want to watch the episode to see him, and the Bieber haters will want to watch the episode to see him killed.#Brilliance" - ChateauOfADoubt




Seriously, its really been a Justin Bieber overload... First, there's the 3d movie, then the Grammy's, then a whole bunch of talkshows, now CSI! What the hell is this? An unofficial Bieber week?


Well, now Law & Order can have him to guest star. DUN DUN!

This is Really Unexpected...

So Britney Spears has a new music video... Its for her latest single "Hold it Against Me."

Let's just say its really "interesting."



Besides the product placement galore, WHAT IS THE THEME OF THIS VIDEO?!?!?!

What the hell is that paint thingy out of her hands? Faceless Dancers? Britney vs. Britney kung fu scene??

Confusion is always at my mind... But I am always a Britney fan, so I do like the song.

SYNCHRONIZED GOLDFISH!

I'm having a bad day, and trying to relieve the stress with all these animal videos.

There are some rumors that there are magnets in the fish or they are controlled by electric currents. Because it is general knowledge that goldfish are dumb, so nobody has faith that these goldfish can do amazing tricks. I don't know whether to laugh or cry...

The guy refuses to tell anybody his trick to this aquatic performance.

This Cat is More of a Man, Than Any Man I've Ever Known

CAT-MANIA HAS BEGUN!

Klepto Kitty

If you are wondering why you are missing your toy dinosaur, its KLEPTO KITTY! This cat skulks around in the dark while you sleep, it takes your most valuable things and disappear with it forever.

NEVER SAY NEVAAAAAAAAAR

Yes, I watched it. I'm not gonna give a full scathing review as I fear my life is going to be threatened by the Beliebers...

All I'm going to say is that you should not watch it if you've never heard of his music. As this movie is categorized under the "Musical" genre... and not only that, this movie is in 3D! ITS SERIOUSLY TOO MUCH JUSTIN BIEBER... He is literary IN YOUR FACE for the 1 hour and 45 minutes.

I swear to the universe, three of us felt completely out of place watching this movie. Everyone was kids 17 and under with their parents. Some of the parents were really inappropriate, like squealing when the Bieber took off his shirt....

Erm... Extreme Pedo alert.

Anyways, besides my serious boredom, I actually learned something from the movie: he's a hard-working person and he definitely deserves his fame. Seriously, if that kid doesn't end up as a fucked-up child star, he's gonna be a freakin billionaire.

Time to put some Justin Bieber plugging into this post:

the only song i like, out of the whole movie.

ULTRA LUXURIOUS LUXURY

I'm sorry for the lack of update. But I HAVE to share you this (extremely old) news with you...

If you live in New York City, you might understand how expensive property is here. And when you bitch and moan about how $2100/month for a true 1 bedroom in Greenwich Village is too expensive... I'm gonna shut your face with what EXPENSIVE really means.  *Seriously, people get so shocked and offended to see how much they have to pay out of their salary for a tiny-ass apartment in the "downtown areas". I get that money is hard to earn, but that's the price for the desired areas...  Everyone else pays that much, so why not you?*

So when a super wealthy person tries to acquire a property in New York, they might want to look at luxury condominiums.

But there's luxury condos, and there's ULTRA LUXURY CONDOS.

What I'm talking about is this new development called '200 Eleventh Avenue' in west Chelsea. Let's go to the pictures shall we...

BAM! That's a 24 ft tall ceiling! I don't know which unit this is. But the only available unit that's on sale right now its the Penthouse. Which is going for a cool $12.5 million. more pics here! Maybe you can't see the views, but its of the Hudson river and its SPECTACULAR! 

You're like: "So WHAT?! Its the same as any other luxury buildings, tall ceilings, floor-to-ceiling windows, new construction, 421 tax abatement, concierge service, bladebladebla..."

Me: But this one has an EN SUITE SKY GARAGE. 

You: A sky what? 

I'm going to let the video do the explanation...

BOOM! THERE'S AN ELEVATOR JUST FOR YOUR CAR! 14 out of the 16 units in this building will have a private garage that comes within your own apartment. 

I don't know about you, but I am VERY IMPRESSED with this sky garage stuff. I mean seriously, beyond ridiculous, but I was still in awe. Who drives in New York city anyways?! 

Who lives here you ask? Domenico Dolce of 'Dolce and Gabanna' bought TWO penthouse suites for a cool $29 million. (He combined the two units and created 7000++ sq ft of space...) Then there's Nicole Kidman who is also moving in as a neighbor, and more rich-ass CEO of banks type-of-people. 

Now let us take a moment of silent and cry at how we don't have an en suite sky garage in our own apartments... 

HOWEVER, as much as I love this building... Its still in Chelsea... 

AHAHAHAHAHA!

Job Experiment: SoHo Apartment

Hey, you lovely bitches!
Its your Real Estate P-I-M-P, Debra!

What do I have for you on the rental platter today? A GORGEOUS 1BR UNIT IN THE HEART OF SOHO!

*look how shiny the floor is*

*i know its cut out of the photo, but there's tons of counterspace!*

*sorry, bag in the bathroom is cock-blocking this photo from being perfection*

*every room has its own windows and closet*

Seriously, I have to say that this is one of the more "normal" sized apartment in SoHo I've seen. Not only that, its an ELEVATOR BUILDING with laundry on the premises!

Its $3150 a month and JUST CAME IN THE MARKET TODAY (Jan 19 2011)!

Where is it located you ask? All I can give you as of now its somewhere on Thompson St and Spring St!

I don't know if any of you that's reading my blog is actually interested in renting an apartment in the greatest city in the WOARLD: NEW YORK CITAY! But, if you know somebody, please forward them this link!

I was told by my boss to start blogging about real estate, so now I'm going to shamelessly promote it on my blog... until I get bored... Of course...

Peace out: LINK TO LISTING ---> CLICK HERE

Enrique Iglesias Can Fuck Anybody He Wants too

NSFW.

My friend is not very fond of Enrique for because he poses with a pout:

*actual picture sent from my friend* but what a poser

She said: He really needs to stop looking like that...
Me: But with one look from Enrique, all you wanna do is fuck him

Seriously borderline porno music video. I bet you after all the years he's been releasing music videos, he can finally be blunt and not sing about love or shit or being someone's hero.
Now, he can be like "You! ... Let's fuck!" and a music video is born.

Cats Morphing into Croissants

When crazy cat ladies have nothing better to do... They will think everything looks like a cat...

Is it Delusion of Grandeur or Delusion of TRUTH? ..... I really need to eat now......

Next time when I see an orange-colored cat, all I'm gonna be thinking is off CROISSANTS!

Louis Vuitton Tattoos

OH. MY. ZEUS. 

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO YOUR OWN BODY?!?! 

This is why I'm afraid to have kids, because they grow up and potentially do stupid shit like this.

And you know what the worst part is? 

... I bet you that he thinks he's "cool" and all his friends are like "yeah buddy, awesome tattoo!" 

First of all: FUCKING DUMP YO DUMBASS FRIENDS! 

I mean WHAT WAS THE THINKING PROCESS FOR GETTING THIS TATTOO?

• Maybe he wanted a gangsta arm sleeve, but he thought those dragon looking tattoos look so mean! 
• Or maybe he wanted an LV bag, but couldn't afford it... Making him look like a chinatown knockoff...
• Can Louis Vuitton sue him for copyright infringement?

Ok ran out of comments.... BUT! I GOOGLED IT AND THEN I FOUND THIS:

CAN THIS BE CONSIDERED ANIMAL CRUELTY??? 

Apparently, this was considered as "ART" and their skins will be worth a lot of money once the pigs have passed away. 

I have no point in this post, except if it actually inspire one of you to get this tattoo. 

All I ask is: 

PLEASE DON'T! 

SNOWBERNATION PART DEUX

I don't have a part one, but this is the second time that its snowing in NY and EVERYONE IS FREAKING OUT!!!!

ARE THE SANITATION DEPARTMENT PREPARED THIS TIME??? (I think so)
WILL THE SUBWAYS BE WORKING??? (Yes, MTA better be prepared)
WHAT KIND OF SNOW IS THIS?! (Wet snow, which means it'll melt when it touches you [saucy])
WHEN WILL IT END???!?!?!?! (This afternoon around 3-4pm)

Again, I'm not going to work again today (SNOWBERNATION MANIA!) ... Don't judge please...



Instead let's do a recap on yesterday's SEASON 3 PREMIERE OF JERSEY SHORE!!!
FIST PUMP PARTY! 

There's a new cast member called Deena, she's Snooki's "BFF"

Sammi doesn't like any of the girls ("whorebags")

Sammi and Ronny are STILL together (yawn), it must be true love

Lots of drinking ensued

Deena got naked in front of the Situation 'accidentally'

For once the Situation held his dick and didn't bone anything

Deena wanted to "have fun" with the Situation, but he's not up for it

Sammi laughed at her for being "stupid" 

Deena called Sammy a c***

Ronnie went into ROID-RAGE

Sammi started yelling at Deena

Snooki started yelling at everyone

Jwoww got pissed off

Sammi is still pissed off at Jwoww: which ensued to...

BITCH FIGHT! PUNCH IN DA FACE!

BITCH FIGHT! YANK HAIR OFF DA SCALP!

BITCH FIGHT! ON DA FLOOR!

Then: EPISODE WILL CONTINUE NEXT WEEK
BOOOOOOO! But so far, so good!
Watch it all on www.mtv.com
Recap over and I'm OUT!

Happy Belated New Year! Please, Hand Me Some More Champagne... PLEASE

Hello there readers!

Let's finish our formalities, and say HAPPY NEW YEAR! If you want to give me something to begin your year with generosity and gratuity, then you can give me a bottle of wine/champagne so I can continue my alcoholic consumption through February... YAY! MORE PRESENTS FOR ME!

I have been very LAZY lately. Yes, that is the only reason why I haven't been updating this blog... Not because I'm super busy in my Real Estate job (even though it is quite stressful), not because I have an awesome social life in which I "party and get fucked up" every night and can't write because I'm too hungover... (I WISH!)

For serious, I'm currently writing from a Korean Spa in New Jersey...

LAZINESS WILL BE THE PLIGHT OF MY DOOM!!!


ANYWAYS! The reason I'm back is because I got a request from (who/m? shall be) an anonymous reader:

So freakin bored and your blog works on my work. Dude...write more!
Anyway, I got into WoW *[World of Warcraft]*(I'm super serious...fucking sad.) so now I'm appreciating the South Park episode on WoW so much more. Did you know I got a wrist injury from playing? How sad am I?

That is really sad, "anonymous" reader... However, carpal tunnel syndrome is not a laughing matter (but we should all laugh anyways) AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Its ok though, I'm currently really into my 'Smurf Village' on my iPad. Actually, I've been really into my iPad lately... I spent 96 hours straight on 'Plants vs Zombies' (Best Game EVER!) and COMPLETED THAT SHIT!

yeah, you bet I'm proud of myself

If only I apply the same kind of enthusiasm to my Real Estate job... You can be sure I'll be making deals after deals and be partying every night and making it FUCKING RAIN IN DA CLUBZ!

....................... If not then I'll just make it rain on my friend's cat and turn it into a wonderful fat-cat bankers calendar series............. Both are equally good of an option for this year's resolution. AGAIN, I HAVE CAME UPON A WIN-WIN SITUATION!

2011 will be an awesome year for me!

Ok time to get back to my sauna napping time. Ciao darlings.

How 'District 9' Almost Ruined My Friendship

Sitting on an empty real estate office on a Saturday morning is definitely the epitome of excitement for a weekend start. If you guys are bored here's some real estate listings that I did!

CLICK HERE FOR DEBRA'S AWESOME REAL ESTATE LISTINGS!

Alright, and I just lost another client, which I seem to be acing at lately. I'm literary on a STREAK of losing clients over phone calls; I should be proud of myself for achieving such a substantial ability that doesn't come too easily. (pat on the back/the glass is always half full)

Let's get back to the main business....

Once upon a time, I strongly persuaded my friends to watch District 9 with me. One of them whined, complained, and threatened to promise me of revenge with Kristen Bell rom-coms if I made her watch this. I ignored this blackmail and proceeded with my plan of an awesome beginning of a Friday night.

We were luckily enough to be sat on the third row of the theaters so we could get the MAXIMUM IMMERSION of visual and audio experience. While I was enjoying the movie and being submersed by the plot-line, little did I know that my friend was almost going to walk out of the movie.

After the movie ended, I was like "WHAT AN AWESOME MOVIE!"
But...She thought District 9 was THE WORST MOVIE SHE'S EVER SEEN!!!! (her own words and expression) AND SHE'S SEEN "WHEN IN ROME" STARRING KRISTEN BELL...

So I was like... "Huh?! Why do you hate it?"
Her: "BECAUSE THERE'S ALIENS ON EARTH! HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!"
Me: Errr... You don't believe in Aliens?
Her: No

.................................................................................................
Trust me... for like a couple of days we had an argument about the existence of life outside of Earth. For all those GAZILLION universes out there, she really didn't believe that there's a single complex life form out there. Also, she argues that there's none because the possibility of something like Earth happening again is like 1/TRILLION or some absurd number like that.

For some reason, I actually got very angry about this. I don't know why, but I actually didn't speak to her for a couple of days... When I cooled down, I told her (after consulting of my smarty-pant friends) that the universe is expanding by INFINITY! HAH!
INFINITY BEATS TRILLION BILLION GAJOOLES OF UNIVERSES PROBABILITY! I felt like a kid who just won the argument "You're the most icky times INFINITY to the INFINITY!"

So if we would make a hypothesis, the only way of her disproving this theory if that there's actually a group scientist that saw every possible galaxies and universes out there and found zero form of life/complex life or whatever. Until then, I see myself as winning this argument.

(E.T. agrees with me too)

She refused to budge to my MATH LOGIC and still believes that there's no life form out there. I still get a bit riled up when somebody mentions this to me. But yesterday, I realized why I was angry about this. Because usually when somebody tells me that they don't believe in other life forms because of religious or whatever reasons, I don't really care.

I realized that its not because she doesn't believe in aliens, but its because she hated a movie because she doesn't believe in aliens. SUPER LIGHTBULB MOMENT!
As a rebuttal to this is I don't hate every rom-coms because I don't believe the message that they're giving out (TRUE LOVE??) but it doesn't mean I hate all of them.
Lesson learned, my cricket.

This is Why I Don't Watch Soaps: 23 Years of "The Bold and The Beautiful" in 7 Minutes

Survived a Plane Crash and Saved by a Morrocan King??? We all wish, don't we...

Great Thanksgiving News!

My very own contributor, scaramouche, has now opened a new blog for herself!!! Let's all rejoice with the good news and be saddened that I "lost" one of my many talented (but useless) "regular writers" here...

Seriously you guys, all of you are even worse than me, as I required 1 post per month, I should've deleted you guys ... 3 months ago... Well, don't be surprised if I'm deleting all of you now coz you've just been terminated!!! HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!

*I don't have to delete myself as I'm the boss of this blog*

sorry for the lack of warning, it was just at a whim's notice that I decided to do it. I'll probably regret it later. Sorry dear friends, don't hate me, hate the game.

But seriously back to scaramouche, the blog is wonderful, articulate, and funny; like all her posts before. Visit it at http://curmudgeonnotes.blogspot.com
Definitely entertaining and I give 2 thumbs up!

In case you couldn't see the link above...
http://curmudgeonnotes.blogspot.com/
http://curmudgeonnotes.blogspot.com/
http://curmudgeonnotes.blogspot.com/

I say you should click it right about now...

Hormones Instability

I am not sure what is up with me these couple of days... but for a minute I can feel like

"I'M THE SUN AND I'M THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE! I'M SUPER AWESOME AND I CAN DO ANYTHIIIIIIING IN THE WORLD!!!"

to

 "I HATE MY LIFE WHY IS EVERYONE SO STUPID"

to

 "WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME YOU STUPIDPUNKFACEASSWIPE?" 

For example I started out today like I was really the fucking sun. I CAN DO ANYTHING AND NOBODY IS GONNA STOP ME (aka going to the mall alone).

WOW THIS MALL CHANGED!

WHAT'S THAT? A NEW SUPERMARKET?

AWESOME!

So that was how I felt for like the beginning part of my mall journey. Then I remembered an old high school friend of mine apparently opened up a high-end fashion boutique in THIS particular mall! I was like, I'M GONNA CHECK IT OUT!

Let me just clarify that I was wearing my 4 days old t-shirt, jeans, flip flops, and my work bag. All of this while I have unwashed hair, glasses, and massive noise-cancelling headphones with my bedazzled iPod. Since this is Indonesia and people are always so friendly, they're not gonna really judge me on my appearance as much. I. WAS. WRONG.

The store had a security guard that is more like a bouncer I guess, but I PASSED that first phase! HAH! So a store lady greeted me hello with a smile, then after one quick look to what I was really looking like, she was like giving me a "why are you in this store" glare.

what I looked like in her eyes (minus the two dogs)

This was really the moment that I went from BEING THE MOTHERFUCKING SUN to spiral of depression. What went through my mind:

"maybe I should have worn something better"
"whatever"
"why is she following me so closely?"
"erm... should i tell her to not invade my private bubble of space?"
"CAUSE YOU'RE AMAZING, JUST THE WAY YOU AAAARE (Bruno Mars on iPod)"
"ooooh, this dress is pretty!"
"ok lady is following me, STILL!"

At this point, I decided that maybe if I name-dropped the owner's name she'll back off a bit (more like backfired on my face).
So I was like "is (name-drop) here today?"
She's like NO
Me: (whispering to myself) coz she's an old friend of mine from high school... i don't need to justify myself...


On My Mind:
"does this lady really thinks i'm gonna just grab a dress and run off the store?"
"yes she does..."
"why is no one rescuing me"
"..............i am ashamed of myself"

And I felt defeated... Thanks, random store lady "helper", you have just made me feel worthless. It was like a black hole appeared next to the sun and vacuumed that shit up. So I marched to the bookstore next and was like sulky and meh... I was just browsing aimlessly and just touching random design books, wishing that I wish I could have a room that beautiful. And realizing I probably never can (serious spiral of depression).

Till I found a book about crocheting THIS!

HOW CUUUUUUUUUUTEE!
Now I was all like: I'M GONNA BUY THIS BOOK AND MAKE THESE THINGS! THEY ARE SO CUTE AND ADORABLE! IT SAYS HERE THAT IT'S EASY PEASY! Yes, this will be easy! I'M GONNA BE TERMINATOR AWESOME IF I CAN ACCOMPLISH THIS!
Hence, once again, the sun mode is back on. And I don't know how to crochet, but I'm still determined to do this once I'm back in NY......... OR I CAN START TOMORROW!

So I was home, and just doing my stuff of boredom. Internet, book, movies, tv, phone, etc... Then I called a friend of mine, and I mistakenly thought that my friend hung up on me. WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK! THAT BITCH BETTER HAVE NOT HUNG UP ON ME OR I'M GONNA GO GODZILLA ON YOUR ASS! I was in serious rage. More like SERIOUS RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWRRR!!!!!!!!! LIKE IF I SEE A SONY CAMERA I WILL TAKE IT FROM THE OWNER AND HULK-SMASH IT TO A PULP kinda rage!

Without hesitation, I called my friend back and in my calmest possible voice asked:
"WHY DID YOU HANG UP ON ME?!?!?!?!?!"
friend: huh?
"WHY. DID. YOU. HANG. UP. ON. ME. !!!!!!!!!!!!!"
friend: (still confused as the line actually dropped) what?
"I. DON'T. APPRECIATE. IT. IF. YOU. DO. THAT. TO. ME!!!!!
friend: I didn't hang up on you.
"LIIIIEEEEEEESSSS!!!!!!!!!"
friend: really. I didn't.
"......................... I'M STILL ANGRY ANYWAYS"

more like ashamed of myself... Going to spend the next day in complete hiding mode and reflect on my behavior today.

Sometimes, when its closing to "that time of the month" my mood becomes a bit erratic, but this is crazier than usual. I mean... come on... really...

So, I'm sorry dear friend for that unfortunate phone call. Even editing this post is giving me a headache.

NARWHALS!

Narwhals:
Are AWESOME
ITS AN UNDERWATER UNICORN!
They're just swimming in the ocean, causing a commotion

 

This was stuck in my head for a good week. Enjoy everyone, while I'm on a blogging "streak."