As I was browsing through the comments on my blog (one of the way that I justify my existence and enlarge my ego at the same time), she mentioned to me that I have forgotten to promote her blog!
I have promoted her blog work before, but not her actual blog!
To summarize shortly, her blog is about her life in Berlin (which is an awesome city). It includes sex, drugs, and techno music galore. Well, overall, she is an awesome person, probably the most "hard-core" person I've ever personally known. She is also a proud owner of a Canon G11! C'mon, that reason alone is a valid one to visit her blog!
I am currently back in my homeland of Indonesia and after spending a wonderful three days of my wonderful cousin, Stephanie's wedding EXTRAVAGANZA, I have contracted a mutant super Asian influenza virus. *not because Asian viruses are better (or worst?), but my cousin (a super reliable source) told me that because doctors give antibiotics here like candy, ergo mutated stronger virusesbacteria as one commenter kindly corrected me.
I also blame the volcanic ashes
Any fucking way, with the combination of jet-lag, superman flu virus (bacteria?), and my stubborness to take antibiotics, I have failed to recover in the usual 5 day grace period. Instead of feeling better, I've been coughing literary all my phlegm out and my chest hurts because of it. Because of this, I have missed a couple of AWESOME opportunities here in Jakarta. Let's not even start with how I'm not able to attend the Temper Trap concert.... Yes, my fault... I get it...
I am now bored out of my fucking mind as usual. OUT OF MY FUCKING MIND PEOPLE! I've been watching more crap TV than ever (Gary Unmarried, Royal Pains, America's Next Top Model season 1million, anything on AXN, Star World, Star Movies) Do you know how annoying it is when you're trying to sleep and "NANANANANANA NANANANANANANANANANA DO YOU WANNA BE ON TOP? (echo "do you wanna be on top") is stuck in your mind?
Very annoying.
Since I always feel more productive when I'm writing on this blog, and its probably the only thing that I do when I'm in Jakarta, I shall write this extra long post for you all. As a couple of minutes ago, I saw a picture that inspired me to blog again (temporarily):
MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!! Vladimir Putin was gifted this dog for signing a gas transit pipeline agreement with Bulgaria (future traders and commodities people, take note about gift-giving).
This photo reminded me on how my sister detests Vladimir Putin, she once wrote us a mega-essay (for fun) about how deplorable this man is (to be exact "THE ANTI-CHRIST) and sent it to my father, mother, and me......... I wasn't so sure what to do with the information to be exact... it was a hilarious read, because I was probably drunk when I read it.
Anyhoo, I found a treasure of Vladimir Putin photographs in the interwebs... let's start with this
I am a 57 year old man (probably actor age) and I can still kick your ass. If not my bodyguards will kick it for me.
Because only awesome people (or the anti-christ) ride tricycle Harley bikes
See! I CARE ABOUT ANIMALS!
I apparently just shot a humpback whale with this crossbow... but not to kill! but to track them and to promote SCIENCE AND NATURE! You should really click on that link as it has MORE photos of his Macho Man Super MacGuyver Bond stuff.
*image released from the Russian Tourism Council*
Russia is BEYOOTIFUL! My bare chest cures all diseases and boredom!
Wow... Talk about going waaaaay off tangent... Please enjoy this post. I will update soon again when I found another inspiration for blogging.
Urgh... It's finally here... The sneak peek for the U.S. version of "Skins."
The only reason why I haven't stamped this shit with "BLASPHEMY" all over it, is because I haven't seen what the show is like. It could be good, but American remakes of British TV shows has a 90% chance of being complete horse-crap.
Actually, I'm going to take back all those nice things I said... and just give MTV this comment: HOW DARE YOU make a remake of this show?!?!?! BITCH-SLAP YOU IN THE FACE! Next thing I know, there's gonna be an American remake of Top Gear... THAT REALLY BETTER NOT HAPPEN (I'm looking at you History channel).
Ok end of rant.
If you haven't seen Skins before, I suggest you go and watch it right away. I'll have my final verdict by January, when the show finally airs. New and creative approaches are always welcomed, but this looks like an exact copy of their Brits counterpart... Seriously... BOOOOOOOOOOO
I am now a real estate agent in New York CITAAAAY!
Yes, laugh all you want, but I'm now working at Bond New York and I WANT YOU TO USE ME AS YOUR FUTURE RENTAL DEALINGS! Thank you!
I've been busy like crazy. But at the same time have managed to watch most of the Fall's new television.
What's the most surprising new show? NIKITA!
YES, ITS ON THE CW11 AND ITS GOOD! HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!?! But this new show is definitely on the approve list for you (my minions) to waste your time at. Nikita... for real people, the first quality show I've seen by CW in like EVAAR!
Do you know what is #1 on #cancelledafteroneepisode? SHIT MY DAD SAYS!
*super shit*
The show is with William Shatner, and its base on a twitter account of this guy's dad who says really "funny" things. *I still hate twitter to death and this proves that twitter is shit (in my mind)*
I really hope they cancel that, because its seriously torture to put that shit on air. So shit, so beyooooond shit. Who wants to watch this anyways? Please come forward because for once, I wouldn't mind somebody proving me wrong.
Back to me, I know that nobody is reading this blog anymore, but if you are AND YOU NEED TO MOVE TO NYC! You know where to find me!
A fellow blogger friend of mine has recently got her articles officially published in an online establishments (aka getting paid). AND WE ARE ALL PROUD OF OUR LITTLE CRICKET GROWING UP! It would mean a lot to me if you check these articles out and click on the "like" button:
*You don't have to, but its beneficial if you are planning to visit some parts of Europe in the summer.
-Errr... I forgot all about this post for a month now... Please forgive me (you know who you are).
But here is her NEW SPANKIN' AWESOME article about backpacking through Central America with includes stories of getting mugged, punching criminals, and buying a machete... ALL FOR FREE!!!
I FINALLY FIXED MY WIRELESS! Oh my shit that took FOREVER! Anyways, for a week I was in no mood to talk to anyone about my internet problems, because it made me want to HULK-SMASH my modem into pieces so small that they become oblivion particles to me.
I have rage issues when it comes to the internet. Don't ask me what happened, because it still turns me in a Godzilla mode.
So me and Scaramouche had a "date" to watch True Blood together with the 12 hours time difference that we have. Distance never interferes with True friendship, AHAHA PUN. But it was a satisfying premiere and it quenched all my cravings. I can't believe I've been waiting a year for this shit. There were tons of male buttocks involved and it was delish.
In fact, I'm not the only one delighted about the new season. As I was browsing my usual blogs this morning, the one and only SNOOP DOGG has made a song proclaiming his love for the one and only Sookie! Don't believe me?
Yeah, I kinda want one. More than an iPad. Even if I have to wear those hideous glasses at the comfort of my own home, the experience will be worth it! I'll just end up looking like a douche in a nightclub.
*not exactly a douche
You know what? Maybe all I need is a more comfortable couch. Or maybe, what I need to do is stop watching the goddamn CSI marathon on Spike TV (that shit is addictive) and plan on actually acquiring this wonderful device. I call it the "Break-into-BestBuy" plan.
Yesterday, I made a statement (and a whiplash) to my contributors, and 3 hours later, I've got two massive posts from them. (At the moment, I do feel somewhat effective as a "boss" and must say that I quite like it.) This is good for what's left of my ego, it makes me feel like a debonair cat.
One looks like college essay about the demise of Glee, ESSAY! Mr. Cutestory, no wonder it took a week to write, you don't need to put THAT much effort into a post. Seriously, its making me look bad (joke, but not really). Its very well written and if any of you love or hate Glee, go read this in depth analysis by Chareth Cutestory below. It can double up as a media class essay, if you ever wanted to take one. And then scaramouche... I have nothing to say to you, but I'll come over and assist on building the IKEA sofa...
As none of you might have known, I have FOUR GODDAMN CONTRIBUTORS on my "roll." Let me break down on how many posts they have written EVER since the blog started:
scaramouche: 4 (soon to be, one is due TONIGHT)
woah!nerdy: 3
Bustagut: 0
charethcutestory: ALSO 0! (my newest additional contributor)
Yes, they will get a load of shitstorm from me RIGHT NOW. I am one unhappy "editor" who is currently PMS-ing like a fucking tornado. The reason why I have SO MANY contributors is so ONCE IN A WHILE, they could help in contributing. 7 out of 211 posts = 3.3%! REALLY? If I was your professor, all of you COMBINED gets a BIG GIANT FAIL! Look, I want one post a month from each of you! If I don't see one by the end of February from any of you. Basically, ADIOS MUCHACHOS! Obviously you don't care, so I don't either. FIring people is fun.
HELLO sexy READERS! Now that I've caught your immediate attention, let me tell you that TODAY IS MY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY FOR THIS BLOG! I have been in the mood of reflection and deep thoughts (joke. I'm not capable). But seriously, even with the miniscule amount of people reading this blog, I am still grateful that anyone reads it at all. So THANK YOU! THANK YOU, EVERYONE!
I only write because I love doing so. Watching shows does give me tons of inspirations to write, and because of that I have tremendous amount of fun doing it. The entertainment provided in these posts for the last year has hopefully fill your hearts with joy and your voice with laughter... I can't continue with this preachy shit.
Now its time to get DRUNK! 200++ POSTS PER YEAR! NOT TOO FUCKING SHABBY FOR SOMEONE WHO HAS A PROBLEM WRITING ESSAYS FOR ALL TIMES! This whole week, I will be "partying" it up in my apartment, meaning I will be finishing my liquor cabinet. All of you are INVITED to join in the celebration (email me)! I'm sorry that it couldn't be any grander, but if I could fictionally celebrate it at one place, it would be in Grand Prospect Hall. The place is just too regal for words.
XXX, One Judgmental Person
*Boobs belongs to Candice. Thank you, they are very nice. And I know the ink takes DAYS to go off.
So, as some of you may know, I am currently still in Jakarta since I got sick. I will be making my journey back to New York City soon enough though (don't worry my dearest two "fans," you'll be able to stalk me again with the binos).
Anyways, not the point. So, here's a little of Indonesian "news" for you that's been passed around everywhere. A son of a cardiologist just recently passed away, his death was a shock to many as he was still young for his age. Right at the moment the news broke, many MANY people asked about how he passed. A lot speculated that it could've been a suicide since the family decided to cremate the body ASAP. There weren't really any explanations given out about the cause of death, so rumors went WILD.
How wild? There's circulating rumors that he might have died in a masturbation choking session...
Imagine my mother and aunt trying to explain THAT to my GRANDMOTHER. "Its like when they play with the bird... and they choke a bit... extending the sensation of pleasure..." NOOOOOOOOOOO MY EARS HAVE OFFICIALLY BLED TO DEATH! WHY?? IN FRONT OF ME?
My Aunt: "Ew, why would people do that?! Is that some kind of psychological dysfunction? Did you learn that in psychology? Anything about sexual deviants?"
Me: No, no, no, no, no, no, no (shaking my head continuously trying to stop the topic from evolving).
Aunt: Oh, I heard a lot of these husbands now are asking for their wives to participate in BDSM.
Me: (Ok ZONING OUT right about NOW)
Background chatter: If I ever had to choose, I will be the one who is the sadist... blablablablabla WHIP THE SHIT OUT OF MY HUSBAND blablablabla...
Yes, I learned about this in psychology, but I wasn't actually prepared to discuss it with the family. As for the rumor, I don't think its true. Imaginations can go wild, that is all I have to say.
My DVD machine has decided to go on an all "technical error" holiday leave in this current moment and did not previously notify me. Am I angry? YES. Did I try "shaking" this machine? YES? Have I unplugged and plugged it back in again? 5 TIMES!
I don't understand the whole "NO SIGNAL" alert you are giving me! THE CABLE IS CONNECTED! A FUSION OF ELECTRICITY-PHOTON SHIT IS SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?! I can't properly "work" on this blog if I'm not able to watch anything... CAN I? So there might be an indefinite break on the TV "research" thing... but knowing me, I'll find a way to make it work (aka swap it for my mother's DVD machine).
On another note, I'll entertain you with my stories from my personal life: I've been getting nosebleeds just about everyday since I got back.
I'm in the shower, just washing my face but NOOOOO that's not gonna happen! Instead I have to blindingly stumble out of my shower, with my head back, towards the direction of tissue. As much as that might have sound easy, I'm hoping it doesn't become part of my shower ritual.
Imagine it with a nosebleed and it will be exactly the same as my reaction
I wake up in the morning and NOSEBLEED! Like MAGIC! Even my blood is trying to escape my body. It's all like, I don't like you anymore, you suck! No Blood, I do not suck, I am dehydrated and jet lagged. So please be kind to me as I am trying to infuse as much liquids into my system just so you don't have to stain my towels.
I wish I was drunk when writing this, it would've made more sense.
