Lapses of Judgments

In the subzero temperature of last night, me and a friend decided to start drinking on Washington Square Park (cause we're klassy like that). As we were chugging our giant bottle of Corona-covered-in-plastic bag (cause we care about the law), three individuals came in a duration of a minute and offered us "Ganjaganjahashweedhash." Seriously, that's how they said it.

Image from The Wire (aka Barack Obama's favorite show)

During my time in NYU, I have never been offered drugs at the park, I thought it was so 90's of them to do so. I guess business was slow because it was so fucking cold last night and only people like us were out there (aka wannabe hobos). We chugged that beer in 5 minutes as we realize that we couldn't feel our fingers anymore.

So we continued our debauchery by going into a liquor store to buy more ammo. As I was at the cashier, he asked for my ID. I gave it to him. He looked at it, then looked at me... Then he asked me what's my address in my ID.

My response: I have NOOO IDEA. (wrong answer)

He gave a priceless reaction, then said, "You don't know where you live?"

Me: Dude, I don't live in California, I really don't know the address there. I know there's Corporate Park, Irvine. Something something, something.

Him: Alright then, when's your birthday?

Me: March 30, 1987

Him: I'm sorry but I have to swipe your card (I started laughing because I KNOW I can't be wrong about that)

Me: Go ahead, its real

(swipes)

Him: Alright miss, that will be $17.62

Me: Thanks

I guess I'm flattered that I still get carded... or I must look really different from my ID picture. Anyways, we decided to head into a bar before drinking some more later on. There's a bar below my friend's apartment called "Heather's". I don't know what the hell is wrong with that bar, but it smells like piss. Seriously, it smells like the toilet was their floor.

Later, I read on Yelp that the place was hipster central, I'm like... WHY? Is it because its "ironic" to go to a bar that smells like a man with a B.O. problem and a dirty urinal COMBINED? For 10 seconds I stood there wondering if I should just get used to the smell and start drinking. Yeah, I don't think so. If you guys think I'm "over-exaggerating," please feel free to venture there and give me some feedback.

I Love New York.