PSYCHING OUT: Family Edition

So, as some of you may know, I am currently still in Jakarta since I got sick. I will be making my journey back to New York City soon enough though (don't worry my dearest two "fans," you'll be able to stalk me again with the binos).

Anyways, not the point. So, here's a little of Indonesian "news" for you that's been passed around everywhere. A son of a cardiologist just recently passed away, his death was a shock to many as he was still young for his age. Right at the moment the news broke, many MANY people asked about how he passed. A lot speculated that it could've been a suicide since the family decided to cremate the body ASAP. There weren't really any explanations given out about the cause of death, so rumors went WILD.

How wild? There's circulating rumors that he might have died in a masturbation choking session...

Imagine my mother and aunt trying to explain THAT to my GRANDMOTHER. "Its like when they play with the bird... and they choke a bit... extending the sensation of pleasure..." NOOOOOOOOOOO MY EARS HAVE OFFICIALLY BLED TO DEATH! WHY?? IN FRONT OF ME?

My Aunt: "Ew, why would people do that?! Is that some kind of psychological dysfunction? Did you learn that in psychology? Anything about sexual deviants?"

Me: No, no, no, no, no, no, no (shaking my head continuously trying to stop the topic from evolving).

Aunt: Oh, I heard a lot of these husbands now are asking for their wives to participate in BDSM.

Me: (Ok ZONING OUT right about NOW)

Background chatter: If I ever had to choose, I will be the one who is the sadist... blablablablabla WHIP THE SHIT OUT OF MY HUSBAND blablablabla...

Yes, I learned about this in psychology, but I wasn't actually prepared to discuss it with the family. As for the rumor, I don't think its true. Imaginations can go wild, that is all I have to say.

RIP whoever you are.