I FINALLY FIXED MY WIRELESS! Oh my shit that took FOREVER! Anyways, for a week I was in no mood to talk to anyone about my internet problems, because it made me want to HULK-SMASH my modem into pieces so small that they become oblivion particles to me.
I have rage issues when it comes to the internet. Don't ask me what happened, because it still turns me in a Godzilla mode.
So me and Scaramouche had a "date" to watch True Blood together with the 12 hours time difference that we have. Distance never interferes with True friendship, AHAHA PUN. But it was a satisfying premiere and it quenched all my cravings. I can't believe I've been waiting a year for this shit. There were tons of male buttocks involved and it was delish.
In fact, I'm not the only one delighted about the new season. As I was browsing my usual blogs this morning, the one and only SNOOP DOGG has made a song proclaiming his love for the one and only Sookie! Don't believe me?
The new trailer for Season 3 of TRUE BLOOD IS FINALLY OUT! I AM SO EXCITEEEED! My mother keeps asking me why I need to be back in the states by June 13... She thinks its because I have a secret boyfriend, but its actually for THIS SHOW! I just deny everything usually. Ahahaha (flips hair).
ITS GONNA BE BACK!!! AND SANTA, even though Christmas has passed, ALL I WISH FOR IS TO HAVE ACCES TO HBO ON JUNE 13TH! I have been a very very good girl (not at all).
This is a part of HBO's three months viral marketing campaign for the third season of "True Blood." They will release another 11 posters in the next two months to mercilessly tease me into utter frustration. My general mood about this poster: I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS TO START AGAIN!!!
If you have been a loyal reader, you probably know that I fucking love this show to death. If you are just new to the blog, now you know. And don't you dare say: "It sucks," because I consider that as a blasphemous statement and I will reach to my nearest holy water reservoir (vodka) and douse you with it while I chant cleansing curses out of my mouth. No, I won't do that, that's just too much effort and a waste of vodka. Life is complicated.
A variety of factors have culminated in me being a tiny bit tipsy tonight. (Below, in no particular order)
1) IKEA: More specifically, the dismembered pieces of an IKEA couch that are inhabiting-- no, TAKING OVER-- my living room. IKEA is deceptive. It fools you into thinking you will receive a piece of furniture in one piece..but no...it requires assembly skills and tools which I DO NOT HAVE!
2) BEER: two beers. yes, two. I realize that's pathetic. It's been a long day. and keep in mind I'm smaller than the average garden gnome. Well, not that small, but I'm realizing people quite frequently use me as a thing on which to lean. (You know you who you are....)
3) HOME AND AWAY: For anyone familiar with this Australian soap opera, you know how utterly terrible it is. For anyone not familiar, stay away, I beg you, you risk losing many things, such as your brain cells and your integrity. (I didn't watch this by choice, I had to write a survey about it at work.)
In conclusion, my apologies for any blatant typos. or brain snafus. (Did you know that snafu is; Situation Normal: All Fucked Up? I didn't, until I googled it just now) At least there is a fresh package of Ikea meatballs in my freezer to warm my cold heart. (note, this is not a product placement attempt for Ikea, please don't mistake it as such since my relationship with it is fraught with emotions right now)
On to more important things. such as, RICKY GERVAIS> (from; The Office (the one w/out Steve Carell), that movie with the guy who can see the dead people that's not the movie with the kid that can see dead people, the Golden Globes, The Invention of Lying, Extras, etc)
Now, he is coming to HBO, with Stephen Merchant and Karl Pilkington in tow, with a deceivingly simple idea (like that IKEA couch I told you about)- an animated version of podcasts featuring discussions between the three of them. These discussions feature subjects such as, a sex-simulating machine, peeking at another man's genitalia in the locker rooms, peeking at a two-headed man's genitalia in a locker room, to be more specific, and bungee jumping before you reach the age of 78.
I was held captive in a 10x14 foot room and was forced fed watching "THE WIRE" for the last 3 days. It felt like torture as my pleas and cries were ignored, and its still shameful that my Brick Breakers score is still less than 10,000.
I have now seen all episodes in season 3 AND 4. What is The Wire about you ask? In my opinion its just about how fucked up Baltimore city is... but then again it could be about drugs and gangs and how bureaucracy works etc bladiblablablabla thisismakingmedepressedpleasedontmakemewatchthisanymore.
I'm not saying that its a bad show, its actually pretty good (once you get into it [and it took me about 12 episodes to start liking it]). It also has been hailed as the "best television show ever;" unfortunately they never won any awards. Its just a bit heavy for my taste, but PERFECT for those interested in the politics of drug trades. I'm pretty sure the demographic for this show is 98% male and 2% whatever it is the rest wants them to be known as.
What I learn about Baltimore city after watching these shows:
Top three homicide rate in the country
Gang wars GALORE! They love guns and they love killing. They'll bust your cap just by looking at the popos (police).
Kids starting as early as middle school are recruited into gangs to sell drugs at street corners.
There are crews that sole purpose are to rob drug dealers.
Definite spot for a romantic vacation NOT
Uh, right... this show probably traumatized me enough to never want to be distantly close to that city... However, Maryland is famous for their crab cakes right? Damn... I would totally go there just to eat crabcakes, I love those things. Drug Wars vs. Crab Cakes... I think you guys know which one is the winner in this fight.
So Lindsay Lohan says that she's a giant fan of True Blood. I mean I'm not surprised as it is the best show in the whole wide universe! She posted this photo on her twitter account; Alan Ball is gonna look at this and say "BITCH PLEASE!" (snap snap). But seriously, as much as I do have a fascination with her, please DO NOT HIRE her as a vampire in the show. HBO you are so much better than that.
As for Lindsay: You cannot act my child. And you are not going to ruin the only joy that I currently have. Just save it for your next Halloween costume.
We finally know what Maryann does. She scratches people with poison, controls them, kills them, and eats their FUCKING HEART! Seriously, every week True Blood comes up with ways to make me become a natural bulimic. Just when you think, oh look, its Jason! Nothing bad can come out when Jason's there, WRONG! Next scene is Maryann chopping Daphne's heart and flambe-ing it with vegetables. And bitch had the nerve to call it a "Hunter's Souffle," NO, just NO.
I once had a professor who thought that eating someone's heart was a sensual thing to do. We were reading a part of the Decameron, in which the story involved a bit of cannibalism. Then she asked the class "don't you thinks that's so... SEXY?" You should've seen my face when she said that, it was giving out a "go home and hump your husband" vibe.
Anyways, short recap:
Bitch fight with Lorena and Sookie ENSUED. Lorena tried to touch Bill, and Sookie went all like "DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MAH MAN!"
I am swooning over Godric BIG TIME.
Jessica had sex and discovered that she will forever be a virgin, because her wounds will heal all the time. So no matter how many times she does it, it will always feel like her first time. Now THAT'S a curse!
Tara and Eggs ate the Hunter's Souffle and became (domestically) violent and horny. I don't know what's worst, watching them eat the souffle or watching them enjoy every bite of it.
Luke was sent as a fucking suicide TIMEBOMB. Bye bye Luke.
True Blood this week was truly TRULY disturbing this week, at least for 2-3 minutes of the whole show. It was really testing my gag reflex. Seriously, by this time I should know that all the blood in the show is fake, but... really having sex on a POOL of blood with a dying girl next you is pushing THE limit. (I don't know what exactly my limit is, but THIS IS IT). I feel like its having sex on your period gone wildly wrong. (Yes, you may barf on that image).
Editor's Question: Is it just me or did Singapore blocks all accessibility to MegaVideo? This is making it very difficult for me to watch shows online. Why Singapore, Why???
Because of this "problem", I have failed to find the last 5-10 minutes of this week's True Blood. ("GASP!") But no worries, I immediately sent an SOS message to my army of faithful readers and one of them managed to find me a link that was working. Ah, the perks of being an (unknown) blogger...
Anyhoo, a short recap:
The show is FINALLY getting better as Sookie is kidnapped by that church.
I realized that Jason only has one look: the look of CONFUSION. It hasn't changed very much throughout the season. "UH.... you want to have sex with me?"
If I ever see a pig, I'll go all: PIG! PIIIIG! HEY PIG! Andy style.
I still don't know what Maryann does, except making people horny, hosting orgies, and putting on a bull mask.
On other True Blood news: THEY WERE AT COMIC-CON. And for that, the people at HBO decided to give a "special" trailer on the rest of the season. It looks BALLISTIC!
Vampire Hotels?! Hell Yes! It looks so POSH and swanky! A bottle of True Blood will cost you a good $45! Talk about same overpriced drinking standards in hotels.
The best part? The room service: you want a Male B Negative?
YES PLEASE!
Why are they in a hotel? Because they are taking a field trip to Dallas. What's the first thing they do when they're in the room?
"Sooooo....Sookie gets gets killed in the beginning of episode 3 and then is resurrected at the end by some mystical vampire ritual...there you go folks..stay tuned for next weeks updates! haha
-Anon. ;)
(god that show sucks)"
This was a comment that was posted on the Wheat Vandalism entry below, and it happens to be a FUCKING FAKE SPOILER ALERT on the upcoming episode of True Blood. I am currently in Hong Kong and because of the 12 hours difference, it has been quite difficult for me to keep up with the shows. Although my service apartment provides me with HBO, they've provided me with HBOAsia... not exactly the same thing. So after I came back from "work," I was SUPER EXCITED that I was FINALLY going to be able to watch it online, but unfortunately the first thing I saw when I went online was this comment. *I don't get that many comments, so I get psyched up when somebody comments on an post. Yes, I know I'm a loser.
Not only do I know this "Anon" (renaming him into HaterJerkWad), we have an agreement of NO CONTACT for a certain duration of time, and this is an obvious breach of contract. If it would've been "Hi, how are you doing?" Maybe I would've been so angry, but you fuck with my TV, I'm gonna SUE. RAWR! You better be scared AND RUNNING.
Ok, maybe I overreacted a little bit. I'm just really tired and hungry.
Here's a super short recap of Episode 3:
Sookie DOES NOT DIE (as I just watched the episode)
Lafayette still lives on (hurrah!)
Just when you think Jason is getting smarter, his brain detects too much activity and goes into meltdown. Till now, Jason is still consistently a dumbass (a gorgeous one though).
BOOBIES GALORE EPISODE...!!!
Is it just me or is the show getting a little bit cheesy?
As to HaterJerkWad: I KNOW that you haven't watched a single episode, so please go educate yourself HERE.
My new favorite character is Jessica, watch her at the 1:33 mark:
I was just having my one-on-one time with my television tonight, and all of the sudden I saw "G-String Divas" on my HBO listing. Did I watch it? HELL YES! Why wouldn't I? I pay good money for these premium babies, I'm gonna milk all the shows till its dry. Also, I know somewhere deep inside me, I'm a natural born ho (or a pervert).
*Chrissy the ex-therapist
No, it wasn't porno, it was a documentary following the lives of strippers. And one of the strippers (Chrissy) has a MASTERS in psychology and actually started therapy work before becoming an exotic dancer. What crossed through my mind was: is it that horrible to become a therapist that you have to resort to stripping? Or maybe therapy is alright, but by stripping, is it in itself a form of therapy for both you and your customers?
As a psychology major graduate, I was thinking if this is a sign from the Universe of what is becoming of my future. BOM-CHIKA-WAW-WAW!
HELLOOOOOOOO RYAN KWANTEN!! (I'm throwing dollar bills at him in my fantasy, while he's doing a striptease)
What? You want MORE shirtless pictures of him? ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY
DROP THOSE TOWELS!
Ok, now that I have reasonably calmed down, let me introduce you to Ryan Kwanten (aka Jason Stackhouse) from True Blood. The first photo is a sneak peek on the second season. He is one fine piece of heaven, and I'm praying to let this recession affect the whole costume budgeting for the show and let there be more topless hot men running around or doing some kind of construction work. Yum yum yum.
Talk about being excited for True Blood, its only a MONTH away... I cannot wait, CANNOT!! The first season is now currently on HBO OnDemand, so for those that haven't seen it, I HIGHLY recommend you to watch it. I'm rewatching the first season again because I am a loser with serious withdrawal issues for quality television. For those that has seen it, here's a sneak peek of the second season, ENJOY!
I have an essay due yesterday, still in the process of writing it, unfortunately its going nowhere as I have started the second season of "In Treatment." This show is supremely addictive, I'm not kidding, I think I've watched about 4 hours of it in a ROW.
Seriously, watching this show has either always want me to become a therapist or have him as MY therapist. Paul (aka Gabriel Byrne) is my hero, really, FUCK SUPERMAN. Paul is probably the best therapist anyone could ever have, but like all of us, he's just human and have to go through the same drama that we go through everyday. Which is all revealed in his therapy sessions with Gina. Its like, he's so awesome for the first 4 episodes with his patients, then you see him going to therapy and suddenly he's flawed (swoon).
You guys should really start watching this show, you will learn so much about human behavior and emotion from just watching it. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND EVERYONE TO WATCH THIS, HIGHLY! I grade it: "A (motherfucking) PLUS!"
So, last season, each different sessions is on different days from Monday to Friday, so you can pick and choose which person you want to follow. Now, the show is cramped on Sunday and Monday, its a bit much on two days, but I have already a favorite character besides the therapist. His name is Walter and I heart him. Walter (real name Tom Mahoney) is a CEO of a multi-conglomerate company and he went in with issues of insomnia, but little did we know that he also has issues of panic attacks. I can totally relate as I am also a CEO of a multi-billionaire company. Ha. Ha. Ha...
Any of you already watching this show? Which character do you like best? And why?
RANDOM
A shout out for HBO: I love you. HIRE ME PLEASE! I don't mind if you want to send me to the middle of nowhere in Louisiana for the shooting of "True Blood." I'll do it! I'm about to graduate and like everyone else, I want to have a job that I would somewhat enjoy working in. I would truly appreciate a free internship or I can always be your HBO whore (well I already am) and write nice and fluffy things about your shows. Think about it. Please.
In Treatment is up again on in my HBO OnDemand. I'm going to try to finish the season before they take it off all of the sudden. This probably will cause a lack of postings for today.
Also, HBO is having a new show called "The No. 1 Detective Agency" based on a book by Alexander McCall Smith. Yes, I bought the book. I'm going to try this whole reading the book first before watching the shows. I don't even know if that's just plain awesome or extremely awesome that I'm doing such activities. You decide. Its going to premiere this Sunday, March 29 at 8pm, so I'm trying to finish it in 2 days. This will be a short 7 episode series because the director/producer died before finishing the whole season's production. If I'm not mistaken, I hope I'm not mistaken because that would be a horrible thing to say. Uh, Jill Scott plays the lead character, I hope that's good news.
On a sadder note, Flight of the Conchords is done forever. The second season was their last season they are ever going to make, but you can still catch them on their U.S. tour starting in April. Also, now all members of the Conchords are married. Let's now take a minute of silence.
The Season 2 DVD's is going to be released on August 4th on American soil, so let's be a bit patient. Here's a video of them that I haven't posted before:
Let's get started on True Blood, ITS GOING TO BE BACK ON ITS SECOND SEASON THIS SUMMER! Do you know that I LOVE LOVE LOVE True Blood? I even have weekly True Blood and chicken wings gatherings at my place (yes it does sound as bad as it seems). I'll rave more later, because I just saw this advertising shtick they're doing in New Zealand.
How are you not convinced to watch it now? Seriously this show kicks Twilight's ass on any fucking night! Yes, its a show about vampires, but its a great one. Basically the vampires in this show have been "outed" and is trying to assimilate into normal "human" life. They are like THE newly discovered race for people to hate on. There are also sex scenes between humans and vampires, which I have to admit is pretty weird.
I HIGHLY RECOMMEND EVERYONE TO WATCH THIS SHOW! If the southern accent bothers you, PLEASE please just watch it for 15 minutes, its worth the torture and you'll realize that its actually FUCKING BRILLIANT! I got complaints from people that they stopped watching within the first 5 minutes because they found the southern twang quite annoying. Seriously you guys, I'm disappointed. Trust me on this one, its a show that you CANNOT miss!
Unfortunately, after heavily promoting this show, I cannot seem to find the links for the viewerships to see. This is the thing with HBO I noticed: you can watch it online (illegally) when the show is still airing on HBO itself. But, the moment that its stops, HBO will manage to delete ALL the videos online (no megavideo, youtube, even youko is barely available). So, my hands are tied and I can't do much for you. Sorry. All I can do is to get the viewerships hyped up for the season premiere this summer.
So today, my friend BBM-ed me and asked me why I haven't been writing about Flight of the Conchords. To be honest, I haven't watched it after the fourth episode because I found the show started deteriorating. But I love them so much that I didn't want to negatively promote them. I realize that I should criticize/adore them regardless of my mood because there's really no such thing as bad publicity.
ANYWAYS, I have a midterm tomorrow (7 chapters of BOREDOM) and I've read/skimmed 3 chapters so far and decided that I needed to take a break. I needed to fulfill the request that has been made from one of my oh-so-precious viewership. So I do what I do
best (PROcrastination) and watched FOTC, more like 3 episodes of it. I have to say that they are BACK (after 2 let-down episodes)!
(trust me, you don't want to look inside)
OR
OH MA GOOOOD! THEY ARE BRILLIANT, I'M GOING TO POST LIKE A BAZILLION (3) VIDEOS OF THEM RIGHT NOW! I NEED SOME KOREANS READING THIS TO GIVE ME FEEDBACK ON ONE OF THEM VIDEOS!
HOW IS HIS KOREAN?!?! I LOVE BRET! YOU SHOULD LOVE HIM TOO! He's engaged though...
This one is titled "Too Many Dicks on the Dance Floor"
On a more serious note, this one is called "Hurt Feelings." This was
once stuck in my head for 2 days...
Alright, this is for you peeps in the library that studying away for your midterms.
This should be a sufficient distraction, YOU ARE WELCOME!
And if you have been a fan of the show for some time, then you
would notice that Bret likes to wear
animal shirts. And after browsing the Hanalog, he probably bought it from this
Here are the links to watch the latest episodes - via Project - Free TV
*Thanks Pey for your "inspiration."
UPDATE: If you are interested, Kristen Wiig (of SNL), Mary Lynn Rajskub (aka Chloe of "24"), and Art Garfunkel (of Simon and Garfunkel) made special guest appearances on the last few episodes.
I'm pretty sure that all of you Flight of the Conchords fans have already seen this video. This has gone viral beyond what I expected, but please enjoy it. I'm really warming up to Jemaine here (the chest hair in pic), and I have to give him brownie points for being so brave with the choreography (in video). I'm sorry, but I'm still not sure how to put an actual Youtube video in this blog. Give me time.But here's a lovely (i-don't-care-what-they're-wearing-its-still-sexy) picture to make it up for you guys. Never mind... I am retarded. I figured out how to do it. But I still like the pic, so here's your double daily dose of the awkward New Zealand hotties.
Sugar Lumps
"I don't think I wanna be a prostitute. You should be the prostitute."
