Thursday, July 30, 2009

Brainkill of the Day: What Happened to Your Hair?


I wasn't even aware that the second season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta is premiering soon... In my opinion they're as good as those bitches (and a cokewhore) of New Jersey in their "acting" skills. 
However, Sheree (far left in grey) here might tip that balance of favoritism. Why? Because she decided to step out to the premiere with that hair... 

Here, let me find you a bigger photo:  

Oh, Honey... NO. 

This picture is worth more just a thousand words, it probably took her dignity along. I pray to the TV gods that she will appear in every episode with this pineapple-esque hair. *please make it happen* Maybe her hair stylist was channeling Edward Scissorhands when she asked for something "edgy." That is some dangerous stylist you got there Sheree. In fact, I bet you she thought this hair was FABULOUS and didn't even realize that she was the only one looking like a fool. Oh yes, I do pity her. 

Just by this hairstyle, I can GUARANTEE you that this season is going to be amazing! I know, my psychic skills are off the roof lately. No need to thank me. 

*Images via Dlisted via... something

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

My Stomach Can't Handle This

True Blood this week was truly TRULY disturbing this week, at least for 2-3 minutes of the whole show. It was really testing my gag reflex. Seriously, by this time I should know that all the blood in the show is fake, but... really having sex on a POOL of blood with a dying girl next you is pushing THE limit. (I don't know what exactly my limit is, but THIS IS IT). I feel like its having sex on your period gone wildly wrong. (Yes, you may barf on that image). 

Editor's Question: Is it just me or did Singapore blocks all accessibility to MegaVideo? This is making it very difficult for me to watch shows online. Why Singapore, Why???

Because of this "problem", I have failed to find the last 5-10 minutes of this week's True Blood. ("GASP!") But no worries, I immediately sent an SOS message to my army of faithful readers and one of them managed to find me a link that was working. Ah, the perks of being an (unknown) blogger...

Anyhoo, a short recap:
  • The show is FINALLY getting better as Sookie is kidnapped by that church.
  • I realized that Jason only has one look: the look of CONFUSION. It hasn't changed very much throughout the season. "UH.... you want to have sex with me?"
  • If I ever see a pig, I'll go all: PIG! PIIIIG! HEY PIG! Andy style. 
  • I still don't know what Maryann does, except making people horny, hosting orgies, and putting on a bull mask.

On other True Blood news: THEY WERE AT COMIC-CON. And for that, the people at HBO decided to give a "special" trailer on the rest of the season. It looks BALLISTIC!



*Thank you very much MHR-CCL

J.J. Abrams Has Daddy Issues


My theory has been CONFIRMED! When the New York Magazine wrote it, it must be TRUE. Here is a list of why some of the very best critics in the world thinks that the mega producer has the basic freudian complex. 

Maybe JJ doesn't have a therapist, therefore he channels all his anger into his movies and shows. Yes, I make and excellent psychiatrist. 

But don't worry JJ, I still do unconditionally love you. 



*Thanks Pey

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Abomination!!



You know what's worst than that? They're PROUD of this horrible concoction! I don't know who thought that this was a brilliant idea, but they need to be severely beaten up. Not only was this an abuse to beer, it was an abuse to my taste buds. 

When I had my first sip all I could taste was the Heineken (if I'm not mistaken), then all of the sudden there was this syruppy lychee taste. BARF-O! HEINEKEN representative should bitch them out for tainting their beer. 

Don't get me wrong, I have tasted fruit beers (aka Lambic) and they are marvelous. I mean after tasting Lambic, you go to THIS? Fruit beers aren't actually beer in my opinion, but whatever. Bottom Line: This beer is crap.
I know its probably targeted for ladies, but PLEASE stop drinking this abomination. (Shout-out to my Mom). I hope this doesn't become a fad. 

*Thank you VERY much Cora! 

Monday, July 20, 2009

CONFUSED

I've been on a cartoon overload lately, maybe that's why my brain is slowly deteriorating. I saw this today on Cartoon Network:

They look kinda familiar, but I can't seem to place them anywhere, until he showed up:

MOJO FUCKING JOJO! I recognize that crazy-ass-green monkey ANYWHERE! *I don't know what's happening in this scene, maybe he's going to eat those children as his meal (hence the giant birdcage). But they look too happy... so maybe they're excited because they don't have to go to school. ANYWAYS. 

Then I had a lightbulb moment: Yes my readers, this is some sort of defunct Powerpuff Girls. 
WHAT? Yeah, same response from this side of the world. 
I saw only about 5 minutes of it before the show ended, and it seems to be a Japanese anime. Yes, they are apparently the teenager version of them and the show is now called POWERPUFF GIRLS Z. After looking at their Wikipedia entry, I realize that it was worse than I thought. Their names are: Hyper Blossom, Rolling Bubbles, and Powered Buttercup... OH HELL NO!


Not only that, they have to TRANSFORM to become the Powerpuff Girls (SAILOR MOON STYLE). 
WARNING: Only watch this if you can handle extreme cheesiness. 


I am so so sad that these generation of children will never know what Sailor Moon is and instead gets exposed by these Powerpuff fakery. At least watch the original ones blease, before watching this version. 

I know this is the epitome of sadness, but I still remember the theme song for the Powerpuff girls: "Fighting crime, trying to save the world, here they come just in time. The Powerpuff Girls. POWERPUFF!" I am a loser.  

♥♥♥ 10 ♥♥♥






HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY SPONGEBOB! Congratulations on surviving this long for a kids television show! You know how long their attention span is today... 

There was a marathon yesterday on Nickelodeon, and guess who watched 4 hours of the Spongy goodness? I don't need to answer that, you can probably guess correctly. 

I started watching this because of a certain cousin who LOVED watching it when he was young. The age difference between us is about 7 years... Yes, I am still young at heart and very easily influenced. My friends don't understand how I can watch hours and hours of this show, it just takes your mind off things. REALLY. Don't even try to interpret the show, it just causes a headache. JUST WATCH IT (at Nickelodeon). 

*to Kevin if he still watches it. Because I surely still do. 

Sunday, July 19, 2009

I Am In HELL




So, I'm back in Jakarta. Many of you probably know that I'm not so fond of this city... Why? SEE POST BELOW. 

I go into my room... and MY TV IS FUCKING MISSING. LIKE "POOF" DISAPPEAR-MISSING (along with the DVD player). Found out that my mother stole it temporarily so she can use it in her "office." (SCOFF SCOFF) She doesn't work by the by, its the Guest Room, but she dubs it as her "office." I'm not sure if my mom knows that I NEED my television: she doesn't understand that I have to watch tv, so I can write in this blog, therefore entertaining you all. The moral of it all is that I do all of this just to please YOU (yes, YOU).    


Alright, at least I still have my internet right? WRONG. 
The wireless in my room goes from full bar to zero bar depending if I move my body. REALLY. So if I want to stretch and shift a little bit, INTERNET GONE. I have a bipolar wireless unless I become a total statue. 

I hope my internet is happy now. 

Friday, July 17, 2009

THIS SHIT IS NOT COOL


I went to "work" this morning, and 5 minutes after I sat at my table, I got a message saying "Two hotels in Jakarta got bombed. JW Marriott and Ritz Carlton." 

First reaction: WHAT THE FUCK?! 
Second reaction: AGAIN! REALLY?
Third reaction: Call family. (My family is based in Jakarta)

My mom didn't pick up her phone... Ok, then my dad didn't pick up the phone... Alright.... After 20 minutes I called them again, still no response. Actually getting worried (for once), then I called home. The housekeeper informed me that they were still sleeping............................................... See people, SLEEP IS A GOOD THING! My dad was suppose to have a breakfast meeting at the Ritz, but since he's sleeping, brutality AVOIDED!

This shit seriously needs to STOP, like NOW! OK, so maybe some of you might be unhappy about the presidential election results, but COME ON. Go talk to someone about it. Violence is NOT the fucking answer. 

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

What Did I Think Of This Week's True Blood?



OUWSOME! 

Vampire Hotels?! Hell Yes! It looks so POSH and swanky! A bottle of True Blood will cost you a good $45! Talk about same overpriced drinking standards in hotels. 

The best part? The room service: you want a Male B Negative? 
YES PLEASE!


Why are they in a hotel? Because they are taking a field trip to Dallas. What's the first thing they do when they're in the room? 

Duh.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Reno



There's a guy in the office named Reno. Yes, as in the klassiest city in Nevada (Las Vegas What?)

When I asked him why his parents named him after such an obscure city, he explained to me that his sister name is Renee, and his parents thought Reno was a male version of that name...

I personally find it as an OUWSOME name. Why? This is why: 


Yes because of RENO 911! I hope one day he would wear hotpants like those to work. It will make my day at Jay Pee Pee Moron a fantastic one. 

Watch this clip below: unfortunately its not real


P.S.: I just wanna make Reno into my own personal teddy bear. He is super adorable ladies.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Please, Anything Else...


I'm taking this "program" at a private bank called Jay Pee Moron. Not only did I just learned that I do not give a FUCK about finance, I don't give a fuck about mostly everything that they're preaching at us right now. EQUITY, BONDS, MUTUAL FUNDS, FAMILY WEALTH, DIVERSIFICATION OF ASSETS. OH SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DIE PLEASE! 

That's right, everyday we have to wake up so fucking early, and trust me... ITS NOT WORTH IT. Don't get me wrong, the people in the program are awesome. HOWEVER, 90% of the lectures are so boring that I feel like I would rather be a window-cleaner than be in that conference room. 

Anymoronicfuck, I came home and saw "Dreamgirls" playing on HBO. This has made my day like a billion times better. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Dreamgirls. I think I've watched it 8 times already. Just saying, when you're all down and is on a verge of a "career" change, just go home and expose yourself to your favorite whatever (movie, tv, music, "adult" shows, person). It does make a difference. Yes, I'm being preachy today, if you don't like my advice, I suggest that you go and SUCK IT. 



*And I'm telling youuuuuu, I QUIT THIS BITCH (banking). 
GO WATCH DREAMGIRLS. Its worth your time. 

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Glitter and Glamor Galore!

I am PISSED that there's no new True Blood this week. Ok, so that's that. 

Moving on... I was working out (yes, that happens occasionally at the gym) a couple of days ago and saw that they were showing the US Men's Figure Skating Championship (2009). 
I LOVE FIGURE SKATING. The costumes. Triple axels. The Music. Jeebus Christ! What more can I ask for in a sport??? 
Besides the men in tights, many of you are probably familiar with Johnny Weir, who won the previous US Figure Skating Championship (I dunno when), and when he performed one of his shows with "Poker Face." Yes, really, THAT Lady Gaga song. Watch it if you don't believe it or if you just really loooooooove the song. You'll realize how FABULOUS he truly is. Bless his heart for this ferociousness!  



But, all of the sudden he showed up: 

Yes Ladies, his name is Ryan Bradley and he is one cutie patootie. ESPECIALLY, when he did his Elvis thing. Swoooooooooooon. If you need some eye candy of the day to wash all those nasty ugly things that you saw during the day, go watch this please. 
Just keep on smiling Ryan, and no, your shirt is NEVER too tight. 
You just know that he's a pleaser, just look at his back flips. SWOOOOOON. What a man. 
*I apologize that I can't find a better quality video


Friday, July 3, 2009

Don't You Dare Mock Me

*Extreme Jet-Ski Ironing is probably what I'll do first. 

I haven't had the time to watch TV lately, so I would like to apologize to my 3 avid readers out there for not updating the blog as much as I use too. But, I did find another alternative hobby that I particularly enjoy: IRONING. 

Yes my viewerships, I have just taken interest in a new sport and I find it extremely therapeutic. I have to iron my shirt everyday for "work," and I find a tiny moment of happiness when my shirt is all crinkle-free and warm. Its like being enveloped in a toasty heaven before going to the extremities of my boredom (aka work). 

Maybe if I'm good enough, I'll be able to compete in the EXTREME Ironing World Championship. And why not right? One of their representative bitches described it as "the latest danger sport that combines the thrills of the outdoor activities with the satisfaction of a well-pressed shirt." Whatever you are on mister, please give me some. If you are on steroids, can you get disqualified as it is considered a "sport?" Hmm.. 

Ok, I need to stop exposing to the world how much of a loser I am. Here's a video of other people with nothing better to do with their time. *Extreme KAYAKING?