On Fucking Vacation

I apologize for the lack of post this whole week. I was in Miami on spring break, therefore I was on vacation, meaning that I do not have (or want) to work. I consider blogging as "work." Lucky for me sexyEW19 didn't even write a single post. THANKS BRAVO CORRESPONDENT, YOU SUCK! 

Anyhoo, that's right, MIAMI! WOOHOO! There's so many fucking douchebags on the beach, I think I might start drinking BudLight just to ease my brain from the view itself. There's no problem with drinking BudLight, but it is the ULTIMATE douche drink ever (so drink carefully if you don't want to be quickly judged). I should be nicer to them because I know they'll probably give me 10 cans of beer for free if I ask "nicely."  

Here's a clip of what the beach is infested with:

Not to worry, I am here to update you on the things that I watched on the 6 days I was there in my "boutique" (uber dark) hotel:

• For the Love of Ray J: FEISTY'S BOOBS ARE FAKE!!! SHE ADMITTED IT ON THE SHOW! Yes, I'm as shocked as you are. 
  

("Money well spent!")

• Rock of Love Bus: The 2 "hottest" girls got eliminated from the show. I can't imagine how this show is still going to be interesting anymore.

(Brittanya)

(Ashley with the Hello Kitty tattoo)


• Tough Love: "Boot Camp" for women that can't seem to get boyfriends.  

• El Cuerpo del Deseo: (aka Body of Desire) this show is a GEM! Yes, this is how I'm going to learn Spanish, by watching Telemundo. Wikipedia says that this show is about an old rich man, in love with a hot younger woman, that died suddenly and "returned" to Earth. How do you ask did he return? BY TRANSMIGRATION (the passing of a soul into another body after death)!!! Please watch the intro clip below (start at 0:43 mark)

• Catwoman: I know its not a TV show but, poor choice Halle Berry. Even though you have an Oscar, I will always remember your role in this enthralling cinematic experience. Yes, it was that horrible. 
  
• Giant Squid Documentary: A-W-E-S-O-M-E. Enough said.

• Almost everything on Bravo (the title itself explains the plot of the show): They're all pretty bad. 
• Millionaire Matchmaker
  
• Real Housewives of New York
  
• Top Chef: makes me want to eat the TV. 
  
• Make Me a Supermodel

You really shouldn't watch any of the shows up here, especially the Bravo ones, they're all a waste of time. But always, ALWAYS have time for Ray J please. This has been an extra long post just because I know my viewerships have missed me SO SO MUCH! You are welcome!